The Prince and The Pauper
by Rhett9
Summary: Kendall Knight a homeless gay kid. Carlos Garcia a spoiled brat and a huge bully. When the two worlds meet will it be love or pain for those involved? SLASH.
1. If You Had Told Me

_**Note: I do not own Big Time Rush**_

After a long day of begging on the street, which again, for the straight week I made no money or food, I came back to my "Home" and I crawled into my sad excuse of a bed, which was really only a worn out mattress with a thin, torn blanket. I picked it up from the side of the road a few months ago. It was better than what I had to sleep on before, so I had no complaints.

My mind then began to drift, to what it always does. How I got to be where I am today...

If you had told me a year ago, I would be living in an abandoned house and rummaging through trashcans for my next meal, at the age of sixteen no less, I would have laughed in your face...

But that is what my life is now. Sadly.

All because I thought my family would love me no matter what. I was fifteen and I had finally decided I would come out to my parents. Figuring that they would support me, but boy, was I wrong...

_**~Flashback~**_

_"Kendall please tell me this is one of your jokes."_ _My mother sobbed out. I knew just by that, this was not going to end well..._

_"It's not mom...This is just a part of who I am."_ _I replied. Trying to sound like I wasn't scared, but on the inside. I was terrified. Badly._

_"Do you know what this will do for our families' image, if this gets out?"_ _My father yelled out as angry as I have ever heard him._

_My family was one of the wealthiest in Good-view Minnesota. My mom being one of the most successful lawyers in the state and my father being one of the best surgeons'. It was kinda hard to not be in the public view. But I never thought it would be more important then me. At least not till now._

_"You can't help who you love, dad. Please don't hate me I love you guys."_ _I said, my voice trembling. I couldn't believe this._

_The fear in my voice was something I was not use to but I couldn't help it. This was not going how I thought it would. Not at all.._

_"I am sorry Kendall, but we have no choice. Not when you are...one of those things."_ _My mother said, staring burning daggers at me. It hurt more then anything._

_"W-what do you mean?"_ _I stuttered out, not even trying to act like I wasn't scared or hurt._

_"From this point on you are no longer a member of this family." My dad told me, his voice was so cold. A tone he had never used with me. Ever._

_"P-please don't do this! I am your son."_ I said, as _tears started making their way down my face._

_"Not anymore."_ _My mother snapped harshly. As if I didn't mean anything to her anymore._

_"You are not to take anything with you. As of this moment you are fully cut off. We will have the guards check you before you leave, to make sure the clothes on your back are all you leave with."_ _Dad said, staring me down like I was some revolting creature. Not his son, which I guess I'm not anymore anyway..._

_"You're really going to do this to me?"_ _I whispered not believing how cruel they were being to me. This was supposed to be my family._

_"You did this to yourself. You are the one who chose to be a fucking fag."_ _My mom said, hissing each word with more and more venom. I had never heard my mother being this mean._

_"I-I didn't choose this." I stuttered out, trying to reason with them. But knowing in my heart, my now shattered heart, I couldn't. They already made up their mind._

_"And I wouldn't bother trying to get a job. You know your mother and I have friends in high places, and we will be getting in touch with them soon, to make sure every business knows not to hire a disappointment like you."_ _My father spat out in disgust._

_"But if I don't have a job, how will I survive?"_ _I said, eyes wide as can be, with tears running down my face._ _Now I was beyond terrified. If I couldn't work...I would die. Not that they cared it seemed._

_"That is your problem now, not ours."_ _My mom said, shrugging her shoulders._

_I then turn to my baby sister, Katie. We had always been extremely close. I figured she could help me. Or I at least hoped she would._  
><em>"K-Katie, say something. Help me please!" I said, holding back the sobs that were threatening to come out. I wanted to leave with some dignity.<em>

_Even though I was desperate now, I knew mom and dad would never say no to Katie._

_But rather than help me, she delivered another blow to my heart. Making it shatter even more._

_"Kendall you disgust me, I want nothing more to do with you." She said coldly, turning her head to the side, so she didn't have to look at me._

_How could Katie have said that to me? She was my world and now she hated me too, just because I was gay._

_"I think it is time for you to go now, before we have the guards toss you out. We better not catch you here again, Kendall, and don't you dare contact us. Ever!"_ _Dad told me, more like yelled at me._

_I looked at them all my eyes filled with tears. My own family was disowning me over something that I had no control over._  
><em>"Good bye, you little fucker!"<em> _I heard my father yell out, as I ran out of my now former home._

_**~End Flashback~**_

I have not seen any of my family members since that day.

Also true to their word, no place would hire me.

So now I survive by digging in trashcans for food. I refuse to steal food or anything. I just didn't have the heart to do that. I was lucky enough to find an old abandoned house for me to stay in. It has no electricity, but it helps to keep me a little warm in the harsh Minnesota winters. Which I was grateful for.

School was like hell on earth. I no longer attended the private school I once had, but now a public high school. Which where, I was either ignored because I was not worth anyone's time. Or I was bullied, because of my appearance.

My shoes were old and ragged. my shirts and pants all had at least one hole in them. Or maybe two. I stopped counting a long time ago. But it was all I had, I found them in trash cans around town.

This, along with being tall and thin, made me an easy target for bullies.

My biggest tormentors, however, where three guys. Logan Mitchell, James Diamond and finally Carlos Garcia.

They were filthy rich jocks, who ruled the school. To them, I was a insignificant speck of dust here for their amusement.

James was tallest of them all, about 6ft. He had hazel eyes and light brown hair, along with his perfectly tan skin. He is one of the vainest people I have ever met, though. Always with a mirror in his hand, and a comb in his pocket. He has girls constantly throwing themselves at him and he loves every bit of it.

Logan was the second tallest of them, around 5'6. With short spiked black hair and brown eyes, unlike James, he was pale but it worked for him. He is really smart and has a smart mouth to go with that big brain of his.

But he was also a huge dick, who had a new girlfriend every month.

Carlos was the shortest of them, by an inch, he was about 5'5. He had short black hair, with amazing chocolate brown eyes. He also had caramel colored skin that glimmered in the sunlight. He is a huge adrenaline junkie though, who loves doing stupid stunts. His voice, when it is not throwing insults at me, is soft and angelic.

He would be utter perfection, if he was not such a jackass.

I don't know what I ever did to make the three of them hate me. But they do, every day they find some way to hurt me, rather it being physically or mentally. Some days, I just want to end my miserable existence, it is not like anyone would miss the poor homeless gay kid. But then I think that if I end it all, it is giving them what they want and I will just not do that.

I will just tough it out the best I can, finish school, then go after my dream of being a singer.

At that I pulled my blanket up over my head and tried to get some sleep.

I was going to make it, somehow...

_**Authors Note **_

_**Okay, so this is my first ever mutli chapter BTR fic and I will try my best to make it. Carlos James and Logan will be OOC for a while but there is a reason, I promise. I would like to thank the following people you guys are awesome and helped inspire me to start writing BTR Fanfics. ImprecantesStellam, BaronofDenmark, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, OutsiderRushheart, moon-soon, Mavk4444, HatersHateRushersElevate.**_


	2. Lunchroom

I was sitting at my table in the lunchroom, alone, as usually. Watching as everyone else ate and talked to their friends happily. My heart ached at how those kids were able to have both of those things. And to think only a year ago, I had all that too. I sighed as my stomach growled for the sixth time since I sat down, but it couldn't be helped. I could not afford to buy lunch, so I would have to wait until later, when school was out.

Kelly, the head lunch lady, would slip me whatever was leftover from the day. She is a very kind  
>woman and I am grateful for her help. I hope to repay her one day for her kindness.<p>

"Sup, Loser." I heard James say coldly from behind me. Great I was hoping to avoid them today. But of course, my luck wasn't that good.

I watched as the three of them came around me, almost like I was their pray. Which I kinda was...

I didn't say anything though and I looked down, praying that they would leave me alone for today, just today. That's all I wanted.

"He asked you a question, stupid." Logan spat at me, I flinched when I watched as he raised his fist. I knew if I didn't answer, I would come back to my _"Home"_with hundreds of black and purple bruises.

"N-nothing." I stuttered out, keeping my head down. I hated this.

I hated how scared I sounded, but these three have done a lot to me in the past year. And I was terrified of them.

"Aww is the little fag, afraid?" James said through harsh laughter.

Everything they said hurt, even after a year of this torment; It still hurt just as bad as the first time.

"And what is it with your outfits, do you not own anything decent? Or do you  
>just like dressing like a hobo." Carlos sneered out, poking my side with no care, but it didn't hurt as bad as those comments, but they always hurt. Because they were true, and not only that, it was from him. His comments hurt the worst.<p>

No one at school knew I was homeless, they just all assumed I chose to dress this way. I could feel the  
>tears starting to fall and I tried to hide them, but failed. I always fail.<p>

I'm a failure...

"Are you crying?" Logan said, laughing. I quickly shook my head, to say no.

"Dude, he so is." Carlos said, taunting, as he joined in laughing with Logan.

"Don't cry Kendall, I got you a gift." James said right before he dumped his lunch tray on me.

Everyone in the lunchroom started roaring with laughter. Like it was the funniest thing in the world. But it only made my cheeks burn hotly with embarrassment, and tears.

"Why?" I whispered looking them in the eyes, before I ran out of the lunchroom and

into the boys bathroom. And that is where I stayed for the rest of lunch.

_Later that day..._

_**~Carlos~**_

I flopped on my king size bed, while James and Logan sat on the couch on the other side of the room. My room was larger than most people's living rooms and kitchens combined. My walls were light purple. I had everything in it, more than anyone could want, mom and dad felt it would make up for the fact they are never home. Which it did a little, but not much.

Mine and Logan's mom work with James' mom. They are both vice presidents of Diamond Cosmetics. My mom spends most of her time working at the New York branch, while Logan's mom usually works the  
>Texas branch. My dad is in the army, so he is never home. Logan's dad is a senator and James father is a model.<p>

Since we hardly ever see our parents, we think of each other as our own little family. We have been friends since we were in diapers. And Logan and James have been a couple for the past two years, of course they hide it at school. They couldn't let that get out, even if it bothers them sometimes.

"I am so glad we are home and can stop acting like jerks, it gets tiring sometimes..." Logan said, sighing as he snuggled up to James, who in turn, wrapped his arms around Logan.

"I hear you buddy." I replied, looking up at the ceiling miserably.

Every day at school we put on this huge act. We treat people like dirt and walk all over whoever we want. People bow down to our every command. No questions asked or any backtalk.

We all three hate how we treat others though, but we have no choice. Growing up the three of us always got bullied, everyone assumed just because we were rich, that we thought we were better than everyone else. And the fact that Logan was so small, plus James was so pretty and me being a Latino did not help our case, it only added  
>fuel to the fire. So when we were thirteen, we finally decided that acting like the jerks that bullied us, and by joining the hockey team and walking all over people, would hopefully stop the bullying and it worked.<p>

Now, no one messes with us, but we lost ourselves in the process. Big time. We became the  
>very people we hated, maybe even worse, but there is no going back now. But my biggest regret is all<br>the pain we put Kendall through today. We have never hurt him this bad...Ever...

"Did you see how hurt he was?" Logan said through a sad moan.

"Yeah, the sadness in his eyes killed me." I said, groaning.

I hated seeing pain in those beautiful green eyes of his. Did I forget to add that I was in love with him? Because I am, so deeply that it kills me to hurt him. Even though I have to.

James and Logan know of my love for the beautiful blonde we torment every day. They also know why I don't act on my feelings.

"I felt like such a jackass. I should not have gone that far." James said, looking down in shame.

"We all went too far, James." Logan told his boyfriend. Kissing his cheek trying to comfort his boyfriend.

"Yeah but we have to act like dicks. We cannot risk being bullied again." I said sadly. Looking back at my friends.

"I wish he didn't make himself such an easy target. Why does he have to dress like that anyway?" I asked. Knowing that I wouldn't truly know unless I asked him.

"He is probably trying to rebel at home or something. A lot of teenagers do  
>that." Logan answered. Sometimes I forget Logan is sixteen and not thirty. He was way more wise then most sixteen year olds.<p>

"You're probably right." I told him. Not knowing why my heart was clenching for some reason. I ignored it though.

"Of course he is. My Logie is always right." James said leaning in to kiss Logan.

"Guys! really do you have to be all couple-ish, all the time?" I said, groaning and hiding my eyes with my hands. I was happy the two of them were together, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they annoy the hell out of me.

"Yes!" They both answered before attacking each other's faces. Like I wanted to see that right now...

"Horndogs." I mumbled, before I turned my thoughts elsewhere. More like towards the blonde that has stolen my heart since I met him.

Kendall was perfect. He had sandy blonde hair and sexy eyebrows. He was about  
>James height and had the most gorgeous green eyes I had ever seen. He is in<br>every dream I have and I am always thinking about him, I hardly think about anything else.

...But we could never be together.

I know my parents would not care, they would love me regardless of who I love. There were only two things holding me back. The fact that the other kids at school may turn to bullying me again, that is why James and  
>Logan stay hidden as a couple. The other thing, is how could he ever possible want me? I<br>have been making his life a living hell ever since his first day at Good-View high. It just wasn't possible for him to like me after all I did to him, more so after today.

I really just need to forget about Kendall and how I feel about him. I would rather be alone, then go  
>through all the torment I went through, again. I looked over at James and Logan<br>who were, now, only in there boxers.

That is when I decided to get up off my bed, and leave my room before they screwed each other, in front of me, again.

_~Kendall~_

It took forever to get James' food off of me. I was in the school's bathroom for the rest of the day. The stupid jerk! Does he not know how lucky he is to get to eat every single day? I would love to get to eat everyday like I use too.

I hate those jerks, often times I have thought of fighting back but I don't. They are stronger than me and would probably kick my ass till I was black and blue. And besides, I do not want to stoop to their level. I would never hurt someone like they do.

I just have to suffer a few more years of their torment. Only a few more years and then I never have to deal with them ever again.

With that in the back of my mind, I made my way out my front door of the school and I headed to town. Maybe I would earn a little food begging today.

At least I hoped so...

**Authors Note**

I do not own Big Time Rush.

Thanks to GleeShadow, Kendalls LogieBear, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, W0ND3R, dbz7000, santiyonr91, RoyalShadow, mavk4444 for reviewing the last chapter.


	3. Act of Kindness

It was a Friday which meant I had my private singing lessons with the schools music teacher, Mr. Rocque after school. He knows how much I love singing, and I really do love singing, so much. So he offers to help teach me, for free, since he thinks money is tight at home right now. If he only knew...

"Okay, Kendall, what are you going to sing?" Mr. Rocque asked me in a soft tone, he is a very nice man and one I look up to.

"A song I wrote myself. It is called Invisible." I replied, with a slight blush on my face. I was always nervous performing my own songs.

He gave me a nod as if to say _"Go"_, before I began my song.

_Do you ever wonder, when you listen to the thunder_

_And your world just feels so small_

_Put yourself on the line and time after time_  
><em>Keep feeling inside like they don't know you're alive<em>  
><em>Are you on their mind or just invisible<em>

_But I won't let you fall_  
><em>I'll see you, through them all<em>  
><em>And I just wanna let you know<em>

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_  
><em>You'll be right there shining bright<em>  
><em>You're a star and the sky's the limit<em>  
><em>And I'll be right by your side<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible<em>

_Do you ever think of, what you're standing at the brink of_  
><em>Feel like giving up, but you just can't walk away<em>

_Night after night, always trying to decide_  
><em>Are you gonna speak out or get lost in the crowd<em>  
><em>Do you take a chance or stay invisible?<em>

_But I won't let you fall_  
><em>I'll see you, through them all<em>  
><em>And I just wanna let you know<em>

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_  
><em>You'll be right there, shining bright<em>  
><em>You're a star and the sky's the limit<em>  
><em>And I'll be right by your side<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible<em>

_Gotta look far, I'll be where you are_  
><em><br>I wish you could see what I see_  
><em><br>So don't ask why, just look inside_  
><em><br>Baby it's all you need_  
><em><br>And I don't understand why you won't _  
><em>Take my hand and go<em>  
><em>Cause you're so beautiful<em>

_And every time that_

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_  
><em>You'll be right there shining bright<em>  
><em>You're a star and the sky's the limit<em>  
><em>And I'll be right by your side<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me<em>  
><em>(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible<em>

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_  
><em>You'll be right there shining bright, shinging bright<em>  
><em>You're a star and the sky's the limit, Sky's the limit, yeah<em>  
><em>And I'll be right by your side<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me<em>  
><em>Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible<em>

I finished my song, taking a much needed breath, and I then waited eagerly for Mr. Rocque, to tell me what he thought of it.

"Kendall that was amazing!" Mr. Rocque exclaimed loudly, more like cheered, making a light pink blush come back on my face.

"What inspired you to write such a sad and heartfelt song?" Mr. Rocque questioned me, looking at me with a small smile. I could tell he was proud of me.

"It is how I feel every day, Sir." I told him truthfully. I have never told anyone that before, well that was most likely because no one else cared...

"Every day, I used to wish for someone, to see the pain and suffering I feel, just for someone, anyone, to save me. But it will never happen. I'm invisible. So now, I just pray to survive until tomorrow. It is hard not knowing, if you will live to see another day, but that is what my life is and there is nothing I can do about." I continued, with tears coming down my face. It hurt to know that I was worthless to everyone, even my family.

"K-Kendall, I had no idea you felt that way." Mr. Rocque told me, and I could see he had tears in his own eyes... I had never seen Mr. Rocque sad. Ever.

"It's okay, sir. No one knows, like I said, I'm invisible. But you get used to it, but it still hurts sometimes." I said, sighing heavily. It was something that was hard to get used to..

"What did you mean by, "you never know if you will live to see tomorrow'?" Mr. Rocque asked me, his voice held sadness in it. A sadness that made my heart clench in pain.

I'm not worth anyone's sadness, I'm a failure and disappointment, to everyone, even myself. It was then, that I knew I said too much in my little speech. I did not want anyone to know I was homeless or why I was homeless. I didn't want anyone to hurt me even more...Knowing that I was kicked out for being gay. I could see Logan, James and Carlos now, taunting me even more. Even though they call me a "Fag", they don't know I really am one.

"It's nothing. I gotta go Mr. Rocque, see you next week!" I stated as I rushed out of the auditorium before Mr. Rocque could question me anymore.

I had just finished up my day at the park, trying to earn money by singing for change. Finally, today I got some money. I had made enough to buy me a loaf of bread. And I was very grateful for that bread, it was better than go hungry for another night. My mouth was watering just knowing I was going to eat for the first time in 4 days.

I made my way inside the grocery store, taking in all the sights and smells of the food inside. It smelled so good every time I came in here.

I was pulled out my daze when I noticed I was being followed through the store, by an employee. I was used to it now. Whenever I had some money and come in here to buy food, this same employee follows me.

Because of my appearance, he thinks I may steal something, so he watches me until I make it to the register.

I hate how he judges me, yeah, I may dress in rags and I may be very hungry, but I am no thief. I would never stoop that low.

With that thought in my mind, I grabbed my bread and I made my way to the checkout. I then paid the cashier and I headed home.

On my way home, I noticed a woman with a small girl, both were very thin but had the most beautiful brown hair I have ever seen, the little girl looked to be around four, sitting on the street with the woman, that I believe to be her mom.

They wore similar clothing to me and I knew they must be homeless. The woman was holding a sign asking for spare change, and I watched as countless people walked by, without even giving her or her daughter a second glance. By now I was used to how cold people were, my time spent living on the streets, trying desperately for someone to give me anything to help me survive, only to be ignored, has showed me how cruel humanity was.

I glanced down at the bag in my hand and knew what I had to do. I walked up to the mother and child.

"Ma'am I'd like you to have this." I told her, as I handed her the bag, that contained my food. I didn't need as much as they did.

"Why would you give this to us?" She asked me. Clearly shocked.

"You're both clearly hungry." I told her as if it was the simplest thing in the world, gesturing to her and her daughter.

"Yeah, but judging by your appearance, you're in a similar situation. Why would you go hungry, just so we wouldn't have to?" She asked me, the shock still in her eyes and now her voice.

"Because, I would not be able to live with myself knowing that an innocent little girl and her mother went to bed hungry, while I had food. So please take it." I told her, pushing the bag closer to her, gently.

"Thank you, Thank you so much." She told me, wrapping me in a hug with her free arm.

"Yeah, Thank you, mister." The little girl told me, also hugging me.

"You're both very welcome." I said, smiling a real smile for the first time in a long time. I sent another smile their way, as I let go of them and I continued on my way home.

I would go to bed hungry, once again, but that does not matter, I made sure a mother and her little girl had food for at least a little while, and that made it all worth it in the end.

Even with my stomach clenching in knots, I went to sleep with a smile on my face that night.

**Authors Note.**

I do not own Big Time Rush.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed favorite and alerted CH 2.


	4. Bad Week

I was alone in the cemetery, but by now, I was used to being alone, so it did not bother me. My mother had died a month ago, but I had just found out yesterday. She had been in a plane crash. I wished I had known sooner, despite everything that happened, she was still my mother and I love her.

"Hey mom. I know you hate me and I am probably the last person you want to see but I had to come. Although you hate me, I could never hate you." I told her my voice shaking. It hurt to know she was dead, I wished I could of seen her one more time.

"Remember the day we spent baking cookies together, for my second grade bake sale?" I asked her, remembering one of my favorite memories with my mom.

_~Flashback~_

_"Like this mommy?" I asked, looking up at my mommy, stirring the cookie batter. I wanted to make her proud._

_"Yes sweetie, that is perfect." Mom told me smiling a warm smile, kissing my forehead._

_After the cookies had been finished, we were both coated in cookie dough and flour._

_"Did you have fun today, Kendall?" My mom asked me, running her fingers through my hair, gently. _

_"I did! It was the best day ever!" I exclaimed loudly, wrapping my arms around my mommy._

_~End Of Flashback~_

It truly had been one of the best days of my life, and that is why it is one of my favorite memories. Even if my mom probably regretted it, I didn't. Not a second.

"I wish things had not changed..." I said, sniffling as the tears returning again. This was hard, I was closer to my mom then I ever was to my dad.

"I'm sorry I was not the son you wanted mom. I tried to be, I really did. But once again, I failed." I whispered, rubbing her name on her gravestone.

And that is when it began to rain, so I decided to leave, I can't afford medical attention if I get sick.

"Bye mom, I love you." I said kissing the gravestone goodbye.

"Alright, class I have decided to assign a group project. Before anyone asks, no, you don't get to pick your partners, I have already done that." My psychology teacher, Mr. Bitters, stated. Great, I hope I don't get stuck with Logan, James or Carlos...

I then groaned, a group project, meant me being stuck with someone who hated me or someone who refused to acknowledge my existence, which was horrible but not as bad as if I was stuck with those three. I was really considering not doing the project, until my teacher spoke again.

"This project is worth seventy percent of your grade, so I suggested you all do it." Mr. Bitters said glancing at us all.

So much for my idea to not do it. I listen as he called the groups, waiting to hear my name.

"Kendall Knight, Logan Mitchell, Carlos Garcia and James Diamond." Mr. Bitters announced loudly.

I groaned, flopping my head down on my desk, the fucking universe must hate me more than all the rest people on this earth. He had to stick me with my three biggest tormentors. This was not going to end pretty...

"For the project, you are to learn as much as you can about the people in your group. Often people only focus on what's on the outside, without digging deeper. You have a month to work on the project and give your presentation." Mr. Bitters said writing on his chalkboard. There was no way in hell I was doing this project. Not with them. I would rather flunk this class, then be tormented after school, I get tormented enough! Who knows what I might do if I have to deal with them outside of school.

"Mr. Bitters, I don't want to do this project." I said, lifting my head up to look at the teacher.

"Kendall, this is a huge part of your grade. Why don't you want to do it?" Mr. Bitters asked me, sounding a little annoyed. But I didn't care, I would not work with them.

"Because, my partners are jackasses, and I refuse to help them at all, all they do is bully me and push me around." I stated the obvious.  
>"You should be thanking your fucking lucky stars you get to work with us!" Carlos shouted out, standing up in his seat.<br>"Yeah! It is a privilege to work with someone as awesome as us you little fag!" James sneered out, standing up also.

"Besides, if anyone should be displeased with their partner, it should be us. I mean, we have to work with your pathetic ass." Logan said through even harsher laughter then the other day.

"I want all four of you to go to the principal's office, now!" Mr. Bitters yelled out, pointing towards the door. This was not my week. Not at all.

And that is what I continued to think as I got up from my desk and I walked out the door, in front of the _"Asshole"_ Group.

_**~Carlos~**_

Kendall was walking ahead of us, while we lagged, behind talking. We know he hates us, and has every right to, but his comment really hurt us. We then arrived at the office and the secretary said Principal Griffin would be with us in a minute. She looked at us, all disappointed and such.

But we were called into his office a few minutes later. So we didn't have to deal with her for long.

"So boys, what happened?" Principal Griffin asked us, looking at every single one of us.

Logan, James and I just sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything at all. Kendall finally spoke, telling everything to our Principal that happened in class.

"Kendall, why were you so angry over your assigned partners?" Principal Griffin questioned him.  
>"Because, sir, I do not want to give them more reasons to bully me." Kendall stated, I could detect fear in his beautiful voice and that killed me. I knew it was our fault it was there..<p>

"I see. And why did you three decided to use such language in class?" Principal Griffin said, turning his attention to us.  
>"He offended us." Logan stated. I could tell he was nervous, Logan hates getting in trouble.<p>

"He had not right to call us, what he did." James added.

"Yeah he hurt our feelings first, so it was fair game after that." I finished. Even though I knew in my heart it really wasn't fair. He had every right to say what he did.

"I didn't know monsters had feelings." I heard Kendall mumbled under his breath and that really hurt me. Just because we bully him, doesn't mean we don't have feelings.

"Well, you boys can do the project or I can suspend you for a month. Pick now or I will pick for you." Principal Griffin stated sternly.

"We'll do the stupid project." We all stated, none of us wanted to get suspended and fail.

"Good, you may leave now." Principal Griffin said, pointing to the door.

_**Later That Day….**_

_**~Kendall~**_

"I can't believe I have to work with those douchebags!" I exclaimed loudly, sitting on my bed.

I do not wanting them learning anything about me. The torture would be ten times worse if they found out I was homeless gay and abandoned by my family. I could see what they would do to me...I shuttered at the thought.

This week sucked already, and it was only a Tuesday. First I learn my mother died hating me, now this? What had I done to deserve all of this?

Normal teenagers only have to worry about having a boyfriend or girlfriend or who was throwing the next party or who screwed who. Me, I had to worry about finding my next meal or staying warm. Now, I have to add trying to keep my secrets to my list. Form the biggest assholes in the school.

"This should be fun." I thought out loud, sighing as I did so.

I laid back on my bed and I curled up in a ball, pulling my blanket over me.

Hopefully a nap would help will all the stress.

Maybe...

**Authors Note.**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who has alerted and favorite this story.**

**Thanks to **RoyalShadow, GleeShadow, BreakFree, mavk4444, Kendalls LogieBear, bigtimedegrassi, Kogan4ever, KogansWolfGirl and BaronofDenmarkfor reviewing the last chapter.


	5. Learning

I was on my way to Carlos house, so we could start on this stupid project. I looked at the piece of paper with Carlos's address on it, which he had given me in history earlier today. It was kind of hard to look at it with a swollen black eye. Usually, I get out of the school as soon as the bell rings, but today I didn't and Jett the huge asshole of the hockey team decided to give me a black eye and a busted lip.

_**-Break Line-**_

I finally found Carlos's house after twenty minutes of looking for it.

It was huge and impressive, kind of like the one I once lived in. I made my way to the front door and rang the doorbell. The door then was opened by a man who looked to be in his mid-fifties.

"May I help you?" He asked in a polite, but annoyed tone. Probably because I looked the way I do.

"I am here to see Carlos, we are doing a project for school." I told the butler, shoving my hands into my pants pockets. I knew I was looked down at around these kind of people or any kind of people, really.

"He is up in his room, fifth door on the right." The butler replied, letting me in. A little reluctant. But I ignored it, as always.

I then made my way up the stairs and found the door to Carlos's bedroom. I hesitated outside the door for a bit. I didn't know what was in store for me once I got in there. It was a scary thought.

I had already decided to lie and be as vague as possible, there is no way I was going to let them know of my life.

With that, I took a deep breath and I knocked on the door.

"Come in." I heard the familiar voice of Carlos call.

"Here goes nothing." I muttered under my breath, sighing as I opened the door and I made my way inside. As soon as I closed the door, I could feel them staring at me. Probably thinking I was tainting the room with my presence. Figures.

"You can sit in that chair, Kendall." Logan told me, pointing to a light purple chair close to the group. I was shocked at how nice he sounded, no shocked was the understatement of the year, I was frozen, he had never used a kind tone with me, ever, none of them had either. I took the sit Logan pointed out to me. Keeping my eyes wary as I did.

"What the hell happened to your eye and lip!" James exclaimed, sounding worried. He was a good actor though, so I started laughing.  
>"Like you don't know." I spat out.<p>

"We don't." Carlos said his voice sounded concerned too, but I was not buying it. Not one bit.

"Your friend Jett gives me a certain amount of time for me to be out of the school, and if I am not out before that time runs out, he finds me and hits me." I told them, shrugging. I was used to it by now.

"That is horrible." Logan said. James and Carlos nodded, agreeing with him.

I just stared at them. What the hell where they talking about? They hurt me more than Jett did. They are up to something, I just know it. They can't be this nice, not unless they are going to do something to me later.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked them, in rage. Did they not think what they put me through was even worse than what Jett did?

"Yeah, we are." James stated, looking at me seriously.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Carlos asked, looking confused. This is...I can't believe this.

"I don't know, maybe, because you jackasses do way worse to me every single day!" I stated the obvious. The three of them avoided my gaze, suddenly, finding the floor more interesting.

"We know." They whispered, I figured I was not meant to hear, it but I did. But I decided it was nothing, I just want to start on this project, so I can get away from these jerks as fast as I could. I didn't want to be here longer then needed.

"Let's just start on the project." I stated, grabbing a piece of paper and pen.

"Okay." They agreed with me.

_**-Break Line-**_

We chose to tell three things about ourselves, we would work more another day, since they had a movie to catch. I was glad. I wouldn't have to stay very long. We worked for a while, I learned James' favorite color was green, he also loves apples. His favorite book is Harry Potter. Which is weird, because I thought he was too vain to read anything that didn't have to do with himself.

Logan's favorite color is Black. He is an only child, and he likes cats. Which shocked me to no end.

Carlos is the one I was most interested in learning a bit about though, although he is a huge jackass I still have this stupid crush on him. Even though I have tried to get rid of it.

I learned his favorite color is purple, that explained why his room looked like Barney the dinosaur threw up in here. Purple was everywhere!

He also likes Corn Flakes and he hates the rain. Very much he said.

"Well Kendall, looks like it's your turn." James said softly, as he smiled at me. And it was a real smile, something I never seen from him before, and again, I was shocked.

With that, I told them my favorite color, which was green. My favorite subject, English, and finally I told them I loved to sing. Which was something no has ever known. Well besides Mr. Rocque and the people that gave me money when I beg.

"I didn't know you could sing." Carlos said. Sounding like he was in awe.

"Of course not. The three of you were too busy crushing my spirit every day." I mumbled a little too loud and they heard me. I could see what looked like hurt spread across their faces, but I knew they could not be hurt by what I said, I mean it's not like they care anyway.

And that is when I decided to leave, before I said anything that would cause them to hurt me tomorrow.

"I got to go." I said as I went to get up, but that is when Carlos stopped me.

"Do you need a ride home?" Carlos asked me, in his angelic voice. It sent a shiver up and down my spine.

"N-no, I can walk. And it is none of your business w-where I live." I was stuttering and my nervousness came out without me meaning for it to. They could not see where I live. That would ruin me even more.

"Okay if you're sure." Logan said, sounding disappointed that I was leaving, they all looked like they were but I wasn't going to buy into it. Not with all they did to me.

I then nodded as I left the room. Confused about everything I knew about them.

_**-Break Line-**_

_**~Carlos~**_

The three of us sat there, wondering what Kendall's outburst was about.

"Maybe he is afraid we will do what Jett did?" James suggested, looking at mine and Logan's face.

"Don't mention fucking Jett! I want to kick his ass for hurting my Kendall!" I yelled, very loudly I might add. I was still angry that Jett had hurt MY Kendall.

Logan and James are the only ones who know I refer to Kendall, as my Kendall. I couldn't stand to see him with anyone else.

"Carlos, I know you're mad at Jett, we all are, but Kendall was right too, we hurt him also." Logan said, sighing a sigh of sadness.

"Yeah, but we always hold back when we hit him though." James pointed out.

James was right, we always held back, we really didn't want to hurt Kendall. Even though we do...

"I think we should follow Kendall." I stated all of a sudden.

"Why?" Logan asked, confused as can be.

"I just want to make sure he gets home okay, I mean he seemed so scared when he left." I said, waving my hands around in a gesture.

I had to make sure no harm came to Kendall. At least not from anyone else.

"Yeah I agree with Carlos, I think we should make sure he is okay." James added.

"But wouldn't that make Kendall think we care? What about our image?" Logan asked, he had a point though but right now, I didn't care, not at all, I just wanted to see my Kendall get home safe.

"We won't let him know we are following him, and if he does catch us, we will just act like our douche selves." I said, telling them my plan. Even if I really didn't want it to come down to that.

"Alright, if we are going to do this, we need to hurry, he has a head start on us." Logan said, as he and James got up from their chairs towards the door, I followed their lead.

_**-Line Break-**_

We had eventually caught up to Kendall after a while of running, and so far he had not caught us. Yet.

"Where the hell does he live?" James groaned, more like whined out to me though. We have been walking for an hour and were getting father and farther from town. From where I live. It was scary...

"I don't know, but shush before he hears you." Logan shushed his boyfriend to be quiet.

Eventually, which James silently cheered for, we were at an old run down looking house. The yard had weeds all over it and the roof looked like it had seen better days. The windows it did have had some holes in them. Basically, the place was a dump. But that was when I noticed Kendall walk inside the house.

"Why is he going in there?" Logan asked what we all were thinking. I didn't understand why he would go in such a place.

"Maybe he was on to us, and is trying to throw us off." James said, brushing his pants of the dirt that we accidentally kicked up walking here.

"Yeah, remember he said he didn't want us to drive him home, because it was none of our business where he lived." I added. Hoping that was the reason he was in here and not something else.

"You guys may be right, but let's wait here for a few minutes to make him think the cost is clear." Logan replied.

_**Later on...**_

We waited for forty five minutes and Kendall had not come out since. I was starting to think he wasn't going to either.

"Maybe he is hurt." I said, worry in my voice.

"Yeah, this place is a piece of crap, a board might have hit him in the head or something." James said, which I squeaked at that.

"Don't say that!" Logan said, slapping James upside the head.  
>"Let's go check on him then. I don't care if he knows we followed him now." James said, walking towards the house.<br>Logan and I nodded and we followed behind him. We then went inside and found ourselves in the living room. A crappy one at that.

"It looks like someone lives here." James said, gesturing around the room. It was true though, there was an old worn out bed and blanket in the room, the old ragged fire place had a small fire in it too. With, what looked like, burning newspapers in it. I wonder who in their right mind would live in this dump.

And that is when I began to panic, what if whatever nut lived here, hurt my Kendall?

"What are you doing here?" We all three jumped and turned around at the voice.

This was going to take a lot of explaining...

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, PotatoCake, sunshineandgothic, RoyalShadow, Kendalls LogieBear, W0ND3R, santiyonr91, GleeShadow, BreakFree, KogansWolfGirl for reviewing the last chapter.


	6. My Life

"What are you doing here?" I asked James, Logan and Carlos. I was trying to hide the fear in my voice, and trust me, it was thickly in my voice, so you can only imagine how good that was going.

My secret was out in the open now. Fuck..

"We wanted to make sure you where okay." Logan stated, looking around as if he was trying to figure out a math problem. Why would they care if I was okay? They just love seeing me in pain at school, why not now? I know they are up to something.

"Liar! What is the real reason you followed me? Decide to pick up where Jett left off? Or are you here to toss more verbal insults at me?" I yelled, very frustrated and angry. I never acted this way towards anyone before, more so towards them.

I know I was pushing my luck with the way I was talking to them, really pushing it, but I figured I'm going to get beaten either way, so what the hell did it matter if I got my say in?

"Kendall, I know we are jerks towards you, but we really did just want to make sure you where okay, no hidden motive, trust me." Carlos said, more like pleaded. He really wanted me to believe what he was saying.

And that is why I decided to not fight them on the lie, I was tired and I just wanted them to leave. Now.

"Why did you come into this dump? Were you onto us following you?" James asked, looking around the place in fear and disgust.

I cringed at what he referred to my home as, and the way he looked, no the way they all looked at is as, because it's true that is what it was, but still, I was grateful to at least have a roof over my head.

I was also glad they had not put two and two together that was until Logan opened his mouth.

"Kendall, why did you cringe when James called this place a dump?" Logan pointed out, looking me up and down. I should have known he would notice the cringe, he was one of the smartest kids in school. I then decided lying would be pointless, they followed me once, who is to say that won't do it again?

"Because this dump is my home." I stated, holding my breath after. I watched as shock, confusion and finally sadness and guilt spread across their faces. They figured it out and they felt sorry for me. Great, just what I wanted.

"Y-you live here?" Carlos asked in a pained filled voice, he looked close to tears.

And that is when something snapped in me. I was so damn tired of whatever game they were playing at.  
>"I do. I bet the three of you are happy to know your hobo jokes about me are true. I bet you can't wait to tell the whole school tomorrow." I told them, taking in what was held in all their eyes.<p>

I could feel the tears coming down my face, more like gushing down my face, but I was beyond caring. They knew my secret, and now I was going to be ruined, for forever.

I could see the guilt wash over on their faces, probably remembering how many times they had insulted me over the way I dressed, now they knew their jokes weren't really jokes, but the truth.

"W-we had no idea. We're so sorry!" James choked out. The three of them had tears forming in their own eyes, like I was one of their closest friends. They were amazing actors. They could win an Oscar award for the way they were acting right now.

"Of course not, I didn't want anyone to know. But you jackasses had to follow me and ruin everything." I tried to sound like I didn't care, but honestly, I did. So much. I hated how I was trembling, but my secret was out, my life was going to change again. Probably in a horrible way, knowing these three.

"Where are your parents?" Carlos asked his voice was getting thick with sorrow, and his eyes were filled with tears now, but I wasn't stupid enough to fall for it. I wouldn't fall for it, even though part of me was. All because of this stupid crush.

"Well my mom died recently in a plane crash. And last I heard, my dad and sister moved to New York." I said, walking right pass them all, to sit on my bed. I was really tired and I really didn't want to talk about all this right now. But I knew I had no choice now, they wouldn't leave till they knew everything.

"Why are you here, then?" Logan question, looking even more confused than before.

"Because I was disowned when I was fifteen." I told them, honest as I ever been. I didn't even know why I was telling them this. It would give them even more reasons to bully me.

"Why?" Carlos squeaked out, looking shocked as hell but I could see sadness hidden below those eyes. And because of that sadness, I told them everything.

"Because I was stupid." I answered, and I continued with, "I decided to tell them I was gay. Thinking foolishly, that since they were my family they would still love me. But I have never been so wrong in my life."

I then laughed at how naïve I was, thinking that. If only I knew then, what I knew now.

"They tossed you away, over something like?" Logan asked, his eyes getting huge. Like he would ever have to deal with that, ha. Not.

"Yup. Your fucking fag comments about me were true too. I bet you guys love being right?" I spat out at the three of them. That is when they lowered their heads, looking down in shame, I really just want them to get on with whatever they are up to. I had enough of this fake crap.

But since they stayed silent, I decided to continue.

"I was not allowed to take anything but the clothes on my back. My parents also have some friends in high places and since I was an embarrassment to them, they decided to teach me a lesson by making it so no one in this town would hire me." I whispered to them, sobbing a bit at the memory. It still hurt, even now. A year later.

"H-how could they be so cold, to their own child even?" James asked. Scratch what I thought before, These three could win a Grammy, an Oscar and the whole damn show with their acting.

"You three, should know by now how easy it is to be cold to an innocent person." I sneered at them. All of them cringed at that, but said nothing. How could they? It was all true.

"I was lucky to find this place, isn't much, but it is what helps me survive the harsh winters." I told them, looking around my home with nothing but gratefulness in my eyes. It wasn't much, but it kept me alive.

"What do you do about food?" Carlos asked, fear in his eyes.

"I sing on the streets and hope some kind person will give me a little bit of money, but that almost never happens, I'm worthless. Isn't that what you guys tell me every day?" I asked, finally, making eye contact with them. "When the begging doesn't work, I dig through trashcans, hoping to find food that someone wasted, not knowing how lucky they are for the chance to eat. Isn't that right, James?"

I continued with saying, accusingly, as I watched him start to sob as he remembered dumping his lunch on me, probably realizing I would have loved to been able to eat every day or any day really.

"Also Kelly, the lunch lady, gives me food, if any is leftover from the day. But that is also a rare occasion, since we have a huge school. So most nights, like tonight, I go to bed hungry." I said quietly, lowering my gaze to look at my feet, they had seen me cry enough today.

"You have not eaten today?" James asked, sounding so very shocked. Boy he was dumb. Well...His looks made up for that, I suppose.

"Yeah, no different from any other night for me." I said, shrugging, because, really, I was used to it by now.

"Kendall that is awful." Logan cried out, looking so close to breaking down. These three...They aren't going to let up the act, are they? It was making me mad.

"It's just the way my life is, over time you get used to it. Wondering day to day, when your next meal will come. Wondering if you will live to see another day. Hoping to get through the school day without being hurt. Praying for just one day of peace, from your three biggest tormentors." I said the last part looking them straight in the face. I was finally standing up to them and telling them everything I wanted to since they have started hurting me.

Although, I knew they wouldn't care, and this was all some game to them, I just wanted them to see the pain in my eyes. To see what they did to me. I wanted them to know they had a part in crushing my faith in humanity. I wanted them to see the tears in my eyes. This was their fault and I needed them to know that.  
>All three of them where sobbing now. I would have smiled if it had been a different situation.<p>

"Well, now you guys have all you need about me for the project. And I can't wait to see how you use this all, to torment me even further at school. I really look forward to being broken apart even more by you guys, really." I said, sarcastically. I wanted them to know I did not buy their act. Not at all.

"K-Kendall, we wouldn't do that." James said in a whisper, pain flooded all through his voice.

"We're not that cold." Logan added, with a whimper.

"Let us help you. Please.." Carlos finished, tears running down his voice.

I could feel my anger boiling. Did they really think I believed them? After all the hell I have been through, because of them, what makes them think I can trust them and I would com running into their arms like a little baby? They just want me to lower my guard, so they could hurt me more. That was not happening, not at all.

"I'm not that stupid! There is no way I trust you monsters. I told you everything now, just leave so I can get some sleep, we have school tomorrow. In case you forgotten, that is the building where you three make sure to crush my spirit a little more each day." I exclaimed, very loudly. I was pissed and tired, and all I wanted was for them to get out of here, so I could sleep.

I saw them cower at my words, but they deserved it. Every bit of it, and that still didn't make up for all they did. Not even a little.  
>"Kendall we-" Carlos tried to say, but I cut him off rather quickly.<p>

"There is the door. Leave me alone. Now." I said, pointing towards the door.

And with that, I turned towards the wall, my back facing them. I listened as they talked amongst themselves, quietly, probably plotting how to torture me tomorrow. They had a lot of dirt on me now.

But, then I heard them finally leave my home. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was finally alone and away from those jerks.

But then something popped into my head, and I groaned, thinking out loud to myself,

"Tomorrow is going to be hell."

I sighed, and I then laid back on the bed, curling up slightly.

The three of them would never understand how I feel, ever, I mean If you can't appreciate the rain, then you really can't appreciate the sun.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, Hikari no Kasai, Kogan4ever, PotatoCake, sunshineandgothic, ammg, RoyalShadow, and Kendalls LogieBear for reviewing last chaptr.


	7. Trust

I groaned, very tiredly, as I got out of bed, to get ready for school and start this miserable day. Which I already knew would suck anyway. How couldn't it with those three knowing everything?

I didn't get much sleep last night either, because of the fear what today might bring.

With that in mind, I pulled on an old blue t-shirt, which, thankfully only had one hole in it. A black pair of sweat pants, with a hole in each knee, and finally my ragged old shoes. I have been wearing the same pair of shoes for the last year.

"Well, here goes nothing..." I thought out loud, walking out the door with my books in my arms.

_**Later...**_

On my walk to school, which was a long walk, I thought of all the different ways on how my life was about to get much worse. And I was trying and failing, to prepare myself for it. I guess I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I had not realized I was at school, until I heard a bell ring that is.

"Here goes my life...Let's see how they ruin it." I said out loud, sighing as I walked inside the school. Nothing seemed any different...Yet.

"Maybe they just hadn't gotten to school yet, to tell anyone?" I thought as I walked down the hallway to my locker. But that hopeful thought was dashed away, when I then saw them making their way down the hall, towards me.

"...Well here it comes." I muttered under my breath, sighing dreadfully. But instead of hurting me or bashing me, they just smiled at me and continued on walking down the hallway.

And that is why...I stood there awestruck. They didn't hurt me at all. Not one bit. Is this a dream? I pinched myself to make sure, and shockingly, I was awake and this was real.

"...Maybe they were being sincere yesterday..." I whispered to myself, feeling a little guilty. I treated them horribly.

I then made my way to my locker and I was just about finished putting my books in my locker, when I heard a familiar and cold voice.

"Hey Ken-dork, nice choice of clothing. Going to a hobo convention later?" Jett said through a harsh laugh. I was so not in the mood for this. Not today, Not after what happened.

"Jett, please, just leave me alone, For today, please." I asked, not even hiding the trembling my voice held. What use was it anyway? It wouldn't save me...

"Luckily for you, I am in a kind mood. But before I let you go, I got something special for you." Jett said, right before he shoved me into my locker as hard as he could. It hurt worse than when Carlos and them do it to me, but I just said nothing, knowing if I did, I would just get hurt worse.

He let me go after that and I just turned and left without a single word. I was halfway down the hall, when I realized I forgot my history book, when Jett shoved me. With that in mind, I turned around to go get it, hoping Jett was gone by now.

_**-Break Line-**_

"Don't. Ever. Touch. Him. Again." I heard Carlos voice say coldly, colder then I have ever heard him, it sent shivers up and down my spine. He had Jett pinned up against the lockers and he was right in his face.

"Why not?" Jett asked, fear in his voice as James got in his face also.

"We're the only ones allowed to mess with Kendall." James answered, right before backing away and letting Logan take his place.

"If we hear you mess with Kendall in any way ever again, you will get another one of these." Logan added, with a cold smirk on his face.

"Another one of what?" Jett sobbed out.

I watched in shock as James, Logan and Carlos each punched Jett in the stomach as hard as they could.

They then let him go and left Jett crying on the floor, walking down the hall with their heads held high. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Now this had to be a dream...This couldn't be real. They stuck up for me. No one has ever done that for me. Ever. I felt tears falling down my face, and for the first time, they were not tears of sorrow.

They were tears of happiness. Someone actually cared about me! I decided I believed what they said yesterday, about wanting to help me.

Maybe my life was finally changing for the good...

_**-Break Line-**_

It was lunch time now, and I had decided I would thank Logan, Carlos and James for standing up for me. I was very grateful for what they did.

I approached their table where Jo, Camille, Dak and Lucy also sat at, the other most popular rich kids. I could feel all their eyes on me as I stood there, nervously, with my hands deep in my pants pockets.

"What are you doing here?" Dak spat out, looking at me disgusted.

"I came to talk to Carlos, James and Logan." I said, trying to fight the feeling to look down.

"What the hell for?" Jo questioned with nothing but annoyance on her face. I ignored her and I turned my gaze onto the people I had come to see, they had a look of curiosity on their faces, but also fear.

"I wanted to thank you guys for standing up for me against Jett." I said, smiling my first real smile in over a year.

"Is what this loser saying true?" Lucy asked turning to look at them with total shock. I saw them all three look at each other fear on their face, before they answered.

"No." James stated, rolling his eyes.

"The fag is obviously just lying." Logan added, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Yeah, why would we help a lowlife like him?" Carlos finished, sneering. I could not understand why they were doing this...I thought they wanted to help me?

"I-I am not lying. I saw you guys." I said, sadness clear in my voice.

"I think you guys should teach this loser a lesson. Unless you're going soft?" Camille said, laughing a cold, harsh laugh. What she said made me lose all color...They wouldn't do that? Would they?...

"We're not going soft!" All three of them yelled.

"Prove it." Dak said, smirking as he leaned back in his seat. I watched as the three of them got up, oh shit... I went to run, but Jo held out one of her high heeled feet, and she tripped me. I looked up and all three of them were standing over me with cold smirks, I knew what they were going to do.. They began kicking me while I was on the ground, every kick hurt worse than the one before.

"Scum." James sneered. Sending the first crack to my heart.

"Loser." Logan said, laughing coldly, sending the second crack.

"Worthless." Carlos finished, Sending the final crack. I began to cry as Dak held me up, for Logan, Carlos and James to punch me over and over again.

James went first. Punching me in the sides. I gasped for air, tasting blood in my mouth.

"We would never help someone like you." He spat.

Logan went next, hitting me in the jaw, on both sides. I could hear cracks and the pain got even worse.

"You're not worth helping." Logan sneered. I spat up some more blood, that Logan and James had caused.

Carlos went last punching me in my stomach, twice.

I choked on my blood, falling to the floor in pain.

"Who would care about someone like you? Oh that's right, no one does." Carlos said, laughing.

The entire lunchroom started laughing. I realized my first instinct had been right. I was stupid to think they cared, I shouldn't have trusted them, they probably sat the whole Jett thing up, just to trick me and I was stupid enough to fall for it. I can't believe I thought these three would care about me...

I got up once the pain went away a bit. I looked at them with tears in my eyes, but unlike earlier, these were not happy tears, but the tears of pain, the ones I was used to every day of my life.

"I- I trusted you." I told them in a pain filled whisper, right before I ran out of the lunchroom in tears.

_**-Break Line-**_

"How could I have been so dumb?" I asked myself, wiping the tears and blood away with the back of my sleeve. I was in the auditorium, alone. It was my safe haven. I was the only one who came in here by choice, hardly anyone in this school loved music.

I should have stuck with my first instinct. Like I could ever be worthy of having friends. I will never be anything more than a punching bag to them.

Life sucked. Bad.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, RoyalShadow, PotatoCake, Kendalls LogieBear, sunshineandgothic, dbz7000, mavk4444, KogansWolfGirl, GleeShadow, W0ND3R, Fallenangelqueen, BreakFree, ImprecantesStellam,

Also the Jett locker scene was all PotatoCakes Idea so thanks for suggesting it.


	8. I Understand

We were sitting in my room, feeling like complete assholes. Kendall had been willing to trust us, and give us a chance and we blew it. I had no idea he had seen us tell Jett off.

"We're such dicks." James groaned out, cuddling with Logan.

"We know what his life is like, and we still hurt him." Logan said, sighing a deep sigh. It was true, we know how much pain he is in every day, and we added to it just to save our stupid reputations.

"I feel like such a monster." I said, sniffling. We were horrible.

"I think we should tell Kendall everything." James said, shocking me and Logan.

"James are you sure?" I asked, my eyes widening. I figured James would be the last of us to say something like that, But I guess I was wrong.

"Yeah, our reputation means the world to you. If we tell Kendall everything, things could go back to what they were when we were younger." Logan said, staring at his boyfriend wary.

"No, Logie, you and Carlos mean the world to me. Kendall is a human being, and it's time we started treating him like one." James said, beaming. And I couldn't agree with him more.

"So tomorrow, at school, we will ask Kendall to come here after school, to work on the project." Logan stated, telling us his plan.

"What if he refuses? After yesterday I don't think would agree so easily." I questioned him. Kendall may not want anything more to do with us, and I wouldn't blame him. We were horrible.

"He will come, he wants to pass, just as much as we do." James mentioned. We all nodded are heads in agreement.

Tomorrow, I would make things right. Even if it took me the rest of my life, I would make things up, to my Kendall.

_**Next Day...**_

_**~Kendall~**_

After the humiliation, I went through yesterday, I really did not want to go to school today. But, if I want to be a singer, I need an education. I shouldn't have gone up to thank them at their table, but I figured after the little display they put on, that I would be welcomed warmly, but once again, and like always, I was wrong.

I was sitting at my desk, in my psychology class. Stupid Mr. Bitters and his stupid project, that added more misery to my already miserable existence. But I was pulled out of my thoughts by one, of three familiar voices.

"Hey Kendall." James said, standing in front of my desk with Carlos and Logan. I could detect nervousness in his voice, but I shrugged it off.

"Could we talk to you?" Logan asked, sounding just as nervous. They were already talking to me though, wasn't he supposed to be smart? I just nodded my head, staring down at my desk, I refused to make eye contact with them.

"We wanted to know if you wanted to come over to my house, after school, and work on the project some more?" Carlos asked, hesitantly. I really did not want to go, especially after what they did yesterday. But I would not fail this class just because I was stuck with douchebags for partners.

"Fine." I mumbled, still not making eye contact. The bell then rang, signaling the start of class. I heard the three of them sigh, as they made their way to their desks.

_**Later That Day...**_

_**~Carlos~**_

I was sitting in my room, with Logan and James, waiting for Kendall to show up. We avoided him the whole day, with the exception of our talk in psychology class, where he refused to even look at us. It hurt us but we understood. I snapped out of my thoughts, when I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in." I called out. I already knew who it was anyway.

Kendall walked in the room, and for the first time since the events of yesterday happened, we saw his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes, which I loved so much, held nothing but sorrow and pain in them. They used to hold a small light in them, but that was now gone. That's when I looked at Logan and James, and I could tell we all thought the same thing. Kendall was completely broken. And the thing that hurt the most, was knowing, we are the monsters who broke him.

_**~Kendall~**_

It was dead silent, as I walked in and sat down in the same chair, I had sat in the last time I was here.

"So you three know everything about me so I guess I'll just listen and write about you."  
>I told them my voice cracking. I could not wait for this project to be done so things would go back to the way there were.<p>

"So since, we know your biggest secret, we decided it was time, to tell you ours." James said, determination, but also a little fear was in his voice. I have to admit, what he said, had me interested.

"First, you should know James and I are a couple." Logan said, holding James hand. I sat there shocked, my mouth wide open, never in a million years, would I have thought James Diamond and Logan Mitchell would be a couple.

"Kendall, you might want to close your mouth, before it falls off." James said, giggling. I immediately closed it, I did not want to anger them and get beat again.

"I'm sorry, I was just surprised." I apologized. Not wanting to get hurt.

"No need to be sorry, Kendall. No one expects it, we put on a real good show." Logan said, as he smiled at me. They were doing that nice act again, I was not going fall for it twice. I'm not that stupid.

"You know, I'm not going to fall for this nice act again, right?" I asked them, looking at them coldly.

"I was ready to trust you yesterday, and you decided to break me. But you did show me not to trust anyone, so thank you for that. Really, thanks." I told them, my voice going cold too. After yesterday, I decided the only person I could trust fully, was myself. Never again will I believe I can trust anyone. Not after what they did.

"Kendall, we are sorry for what we did to you yesterday." James told me, tears forming in his eyes.

"But, just listen to us for a second, please, it will explain everything." Logan pleaded. I did not believe them, not at all, but I decided to listen anyway.

"Fine." I mumbled, looking anywhere but their faces.

"Growing up, the three of us were constantly bullied." Carlos said, in a pain filled voice.

"The kings of the school, bullied? You expect me to believe that?" I asked, in disbelief. Did they really think I was that stupid?

"Kendall we are telling the truth." Logan said, honesty laced all in his voice.

"We were not always the people, we are now." Carlos added.

"I was bullied because, everyone thought I was too pretty, to be a boy. They said I looked more like a girl. And they would pick on me because they said it looked like I wore makeup on my cheeks, which I don't." James said, a few tears falling down his face, as Logan comforted him.

"Up until I joined the hockey team, I was always one of the smallest kids in class. The fact I always wore sweaters and was smart did not help. I got called a nerd and beaten up every single day, and if I did not do my bullies homework, they would beat me ten times worse than normal." Logan said, as he sobbed. James wrapped his arms tightly around him.

"I was one of the few Latino kids in my class. I was the subject of so many racist insults, and they all hurt. I was also small, not as small as Logan, but still small enough to get my butt kicked. The three of us also got bullied for coming from wealthy families. Our classmates thought we felt we were better than them, since we are rich. But that is not how we felt." Carlos cried out the last part. I sat there absorbing this new info. I figured it was true. Why would they lie about something like this?

"So one day, we decided we had enough of the torment." Logan said.

"We joined the hockey team. And we began to act like the kids who once bullied us." James added, sighing.

"Since everyone thought we assumed we were better than everyone else, that is how we began to act." Carlos stated with a sad look in his eyes.

"So you guys became the very thing you hated most? To stop yourselves from being bullied?" I asked them. Shock flooding through my body.

"Yeah, but we lost ourselves in the process." James answered, sighing deeply as he shook his head.

"Once we started acting that way, people left us alone and that is how we are where we are on the school social ladder." Logan said, looking into my eyes seriously.

"We don't want to do anything to jeopardize ourselves, and go back to what we were. That is why Logan and James keep their relationship a secret." Carlos added, looking down at the ground.

"And it is why we did that to you yesterday." Logan said, sadly.

"Because I almost blew you cover?" I added.

"Exactly." James said, sighing.

I didn't say anything for a few minutes, I was taking it all in. All they said.

"I understand." I told them, finally.

"Y-you do?" They all three questioned me, shocked as can be. And I really did, there is no way anyone could fake the emotions the three of them had as they told me the story of their pasts.

"Yeah. I understand what it is like to be bullied and tormented every day, over things you have no control over. To just wish the people who tormented you could see that you're a person, and that you have feelings. For someone to see you're not invisible and to care. I would not wish this fate on anyone. I forgive you." I told them, honestly. And I truly did forgive them. Like I said, I would not wish what I go through daily on my worst enemy.

"Kendall.." Carlos started, but I cut him off. I was not done yet.

"Also it is okay." I told them, offering a small smile.

"What's okay?" Carlos asked, confused. They all looked it, that's for sure.

"Tormenting me." I told them, still smiling a tiny smile. "I understand how much people's words and fists can hurt. I don't want you guys have to deal with that. So like I said it's ok I get it now."

I said, looking at each of them.

Now that I knew they weren't monsters. That they were just scared like I was. I can now keep someone else from feeling this pain, and that is exactly what I would do.

"Kendall, that is not why we told you this." James said, softly.

"I know James. But I am used to being a punching bag. It is all I am good for." I answered, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't. Not at all.

"Kendall t-that..that's not true." Logan sobbed out.

"Yeah it is, Logan. I accepted that a long time ago." I replied. Truthfully I had accepted that I was worth nothing more than an object, for others to take their frustration's out on.

"K-Kendall, we don't think that about you. I-I swear." Carlos sobbed out too, to think of it, they were all crying..

"I know that now, Carlos but you should, it is all I'll ever be." I told him, my voice trembling. "It is getting late and I need to head home. But thanks, for telling me the truth, you didn't have to but you did. And I promise you, your secret is safe with me."

I told them, right before I got up, quickly, and I left the room. I did not want to give them the chance to say anything else.

I knew my place in life, nothing they say or do will change that.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **PotatoCake, sunshineandgothic, loveshj, dbz7000, GleeShadow, W0ND3R, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, Kendalls LogieBear, ImprecantesStellam, RoyalShadow, Whatwhy, KogansWolfGirl, santiyonr91 and BreakFree for reviewing the last chapter.

Also I have decided whoever gets the 100th review gets a one-shot request.


	9. Lullaby

_**~Carlos~**_

School had finished for the day. But we couldn't focus at all, we were only thinking of what happened yesterday, we still could not believe what Kendall had said to us. It made my heart ache in guilt.

We were currently in the locker room, talking. It was the only place that we knew we wouldn't be eavesdropped on.

"He is willing to continue to let us hurt him, just so we don't get bullied." Logan stated, looking down sadly. We were still shocked Kendall had said that. I just didn't understand..

"After everything we put him through, he is only concerned with helping us." James said, a few tears escaping after he said so.

"Kendall's life is horrible, but he is more worried about us. My Kendall has a heart of gold, I don't see how his family could have tossed him away like he was nothing." I said, sniffling. It was true though, Kendall is the kindest human being I have ever met or will probably ever meet. And I couldn't believe how cruel his parents had been. Didn't they see how great of a son they had?

"We don't deserve his kindness." Logan said, biting his lip. He looked like he wanted to cry, we all did. We really didn't deserve any of it...

"I agree, we deserve to be put through the same pain we put him through." James said seriously. Wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

"I agree with you guys, but Kendall is not the vengeful type." I told them sadly, leaning against one of the lockers.

"We know." They both stated. Sounding guilty, but we were guilty. We hurt him and made his life even more hell filled. And even after all that, he doesn't want to get revenge on us, actually it was the complete opposite.

"Guys, I want to help Kendall." James blurted out. Logan and I shared a look, James was getting smarter...and kinder, so this was a shock. But he did care about his family.

"You sure, James?" Logan asked, grabbing a hold of his hand.

"Yeah, I am, we could give Kendall a home and we can make sure he never goes hungry again. Screw our reputations." James said, determined. Adding to the shock for me and Logan, but it made a smile find its way on my face. I knew it was going to be hard, but for my Kendall, I would do anything.

"Your right, James, we can do this." I said, my smile getting even bigger. We would give Kendall a better life.

With that in mind, we walked out of the locker room and made our way down the hallway. Well that was till...

"Guys! there's Kendall." Logan said, eagerness in his voice.

"Let's go tell him our plan." I stated, looking at them. They nodded, and we began to follow Kendall. He stopped after a while, and we watched him go into the auditorium, and that is when we slipped in and saw Kendall pacing on the stage. We decided to be quiet and hide for a while. The three of us had wanted to hear him sing since we learned he loved, and could sing. We were curious about how he sounded.

_**~Kendall~**_

I was in the auditorium, waiting for Mr. Rocque to show up. I had written a new song yesterday, and I was beyond nervous about if he would like it or not.

But I didn't get any more time to ponder on it, because at that moment, the doors open and Mr. Rocque walked in.

"How are you today Kendall?" Mr. Rocque asked me, smiling his warm smile. He made his way up the stairs, to the stage.

"Good, sir, I'm just glad it's Friday." I told him. Making small talk to cover up my nervousness.

"Me too. So what will you be singing today?" Mr. Rocque questioned me, still smiling his warm smile. As always.

"I would like your opinion on a new song, I wrote." I told him, rubbing my hands together, I hate how nervous I get. It was always like this, but this time...It was different somehow.

"Well, if it is anything like what you played a few weeks ago, I am sure it will be beautiful." Mr. Rocque told me, giving me a thumbs up. It almost made me laugh, he was always trying to act "Cool". But it eased my nervousness a little.

"Thank you, sir. This song is called Lullaby."

I told him, right before I began to sing.

_Well, I know the feeling_  
><em>Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge<em>  
><em>And there ain't no healing<em>  
><em>From cutting yourself with the jagged edge<em>  
><em>I'm telling you that, it's never that bad<em>  
><em>Take it from someone who's been where you're at<em>  
><em>Laid out on the floor<em>  
><em>And you're not sure you can take this anymore<em>

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
><em>And turn this up on the radio<em>  
><em>If you can hear me now<em>  
><em>I'm reaching out<em>  
><em>To let you know that you're not alone<em>  
><em>And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell<em>  
><em>'Cause I can't get you on the telephone<em>  
><em>So just close your eyes<em>  
><em>Oh, honey here comes a lullaby<em>  
><em>Your very own lullaby<em>

_Please let me take you_  
><em>Out of the darkness and into the light<em>  
><em>'Cause I have faith in you<em>  
><em>That you're gonna make it through another night<em>  
><em>Stop thinking about the easy way out<em>  
><em>There's no need to go and blow the candle out<em>  
><em>Because you're not done<em>  
><em>You're far too young<em>  
><em>And the best is yet to come<em>

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
><em>And turn this up on the radio<em>  
><em>If you can hear me now<em>  
><em>I'm reaching out<em>  
><em>To let you know that you're not alone<em>  
><em>And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell<em>  
><em>'Cause I can't get you on the telephone<em>  
><em>So just close your eyes<em>  
><em>Oh, honey here comes a lullaby<em>  
><em>Your very own lullaby<em>

_Well, everybody's hit the bottom_  
><em>Everybody's been forgotten<em>  
><em>When everybody's tired of being alone<em>  
><em>Yeah, everybody's been abandoned<em>  
><em>And left a little empty handed<em>  
><em>So if you're out there barely hanging on...<em>

_Just give it one more try to a lullaby_  
><em>And turn this up on the radio<em>  
><em>If you can hear me now<em>  
><em>I'm reaching out<em>  
><em>To let you know that you're not alone<em>  
><em>And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell<em>  
><em>'Cause I can't get you on the telephone<em>  
><em>So just close your eyes<em>  
><em>Oh, honey here comes a lullaby<em>  
><em>Your very own lullaby<em>  
><em>Oh, honey here comes a lullaby<em>  
><em>Your very own lullaby<em>

I finished my song, waiting eagerly for my teacher's opinion. This was always my favorite part of these sessions.

"Kendall, I have never met someone with as much talent as you. You have that rare fire, and I know one day you will be a huge success." Mr. Rocque said, now giving me two thumbs up.

"Thank you, Mr. Rocque." I replied, blushing at his praise. He always did this to me, he was a great teacher.

"What inspired that song?" Mr. Rocque asked, curiously. He knew me well, every song I have ever wrote had some kind of truth of my life behind it.

"Just some things I've learned about people here, recently. I thought they were these horrible monsters, but it turned out, they weren't that much different than me. So I wrote it, in their honor, to let them know they are not alone and I'll help them avoid the darkness, and stay in the light, by letting things stay the way they have always been." I answered, truthfully but I did it without telling him everything, mostly.

"That is very noble of you, Kendall." Mr. Rocque told me, sounding sad, and I felt bad for making him feel the way. That was the last thing I wanted.

"It is just the right thing to do, sir. If I can stop someone else's pain, then I'm happy." I told him, telling him my true feelings.

"Kendall... You are one amazing kid." Mr. Rocque told me, smiling.

I was grateful for his praise, but I was just doing what felt right. I had seen how much pain Logan, Carlos and James were in as they told me their pasts, and I did not want them to ever feel that way again.

_**-Break Line-**_

Mr. Rocque had to cut our session short, because he had to leave early to be at a friend's wedding. But because of that, I get to go to the park early today, which made me somewhat happy.

And I was just about to leave when Carlos, James and Logan appeared from hiding, behind some of the chairs. I had no idea why they were here or how long they had been here. And that is why I started blushing madly.

"Kendall, that was amazing!" James exclaimed loudly, his voice seemed louder in here though.

"You're seriously talented." Logan said, smiling brightly.

"It was great, Kendall." Carlos said, smiling softly...I could have sworn he was blushing.

"Thanks." I told them, I was embarrassed they had heard me sing. Especially since the song was inspired by them. I just hoped they had missed me telling Mr. Rocque that.

But of course, as luck would have it...

"We heard what you said to Mr. Rocque." Logan said, sounding sad. Great, there goes that hope. What the hell did I do to the universe for it to hate me so much?

"Y-you did?.." I stuttered out, blushing even more.

"Yeah, we're the people you were talking about, right? Carlos asked, his voice soft.

"Yes...I just felt I had to write that after yesterday, I wanted to make sure you guys knew I meant it when I said I was okay with me being your punching bag." I said, looking at the three of them.  
>"Kendall...You don't have to do that." James said, sounding and looking, so serious.<p>

"Kendall, please, we don't want to hurt you...That stuff doesn't matter anymore. Really." Logan said, sobbing a little. Why would he say that? I didn't want them to get hurt...Not like I was.

"It doesn't have to be this way, Kendall." Carlos cried out. I knew the three of them meant every word of what they said and that was enough for me. Even if it meant a lot...I had to do this.

"Yes it does, Carlos." I said, determination shining through with each word, but there was also sadness...Even though I tried to hide it.

"But, why?" James whimpered out, looking at me in shock. They all were, along with crying.

"Because, even if you guys stop tormenting me, someone else will still do it. So what is the point in me letting you guys get hurt for helping me? I can keep you three safe. That is why things can't change." I told them, trembling.  
>And with that, I walked past them and I went to leave, but I then stopped when I heard Carlos call out to me.<p>

"You know...If the situation we were in had been different I have a feeling we could have been best friends."

I smiled at that, a soft but watery smile. I then turned to look at Carlos, I took a deep, deep breath as I said,

"And maybe we could have been more than friends...But it has to be this way...I-I'm sorry, guys." I sobbed out the last part.

"No, it doesn't. Logan said, trying to plead with me. But it wasn't going to work, I was a Knight after all. A disowned one, but still, I was one.

"This isn't what we want." Carlos whimpered out, looking at me with huge tears running down his face...And that killed me the most about this, but it had to be done.

"I know... But it's what you need, it has to be done to keep you guys from getting hurt." I told him, taking one last glance at each one of them and taking in their broken faces.

It broke my heart, but if you love something set them free...

And that is what I clung onto as I ran from the auditorium.

Nothing came easy, that was for sure, but this was worth it. Every bit of it….Or, at least I hope it was.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, Kendalls LogieBear, santiyonr91, PotatoCake, RoyalShadow, Whatwhy, lord kiras hand, dbz7000, ammg, Lansten, GleeShadow, W0ND3R, sunshineandgothic, moon-soon, loveshj, BreakFree, and Hikari no Kasai for reviewing chapter 8.

**I do not own the lyrics to Lullaby it is Nickelback's song.**


	10. Family

"I don't care what Kendall says, we are helping him and he is going to like it." Logan said, as he sat down on the couch in my room. His face was stern and determined.

"Logie, have I ever told you how hot you look when you're angry?" James said, snuggling into Logan. And even though it was a cute sight, this wasn't the time. At all.

"James. Focus." I groaned out, this so was not the time for James to be such a horn dog.

"You're right, sorry." James apologized, but he still had a smile on his face. Jerk.

"But I agree, Logan, we have to show Kendall we are not backing down this time." I said determination in my voice also. No more hiding behind some stupid rep. Not if it meant losing Kendall before I even got him.

"But, how?" Logan questioned me. We all knew how determined he was, so I had no clue how we would convince him.

"I have an idea!" James exclaimed, excitedly.

Logan and I just sat there, with our mouths wide open... This was definitely a first.

"James, baby, um, not that I don't think you are smart, because you definitely are, but are you sure?" Logan asked James in a soft voice, taking his hand in James'. I know this was supposed to be sweet but James being James...

"Yes, Logie, I am capably of having ideas every now and then" James huffed out, turning his head to the side, pouting. I know that hurt his feelings...

"You're right, I'm sorry for doubting you, Jamie." Logan apologized, pressing a kiss to James' chin. Making James smile smugly.

"Good, and since you apologized, I'll still let you get some tonight." James stated, smirking now. Logan blushed at that, and I groaned...Their horny asses could wait to get it on...Right now that wasn't important.

"James. What's your idea?" I asked impatiently. Sex could wait, this couldn't. Not with my Kendall.

"Well, this is what I was thinking…."

_**~Next Day~**_

_**~Kendall~**_

I was sitting, alone, at lunch. Like always. I hadn't seen Carlos, Logan or James. At all today. They were probably avoiding me. I mean, they did try to help me, and I threw it back in their faces. But I'm just doing what is best for them. I don't want them to get hurt...

But my thoughts were shattered when my stomach started growling loudly, feeling as if it was tied in knots. I groaned to myself and I looked around the lunchroom. No matter how many times it growls, I always get embarrassed and worried someone may hear it.

"Hey Kendall." Carlos said, smiling warmly at me.

I guess I was so focused on not being notice, that I didn't even notice James, Carlos and Logan approach my table and they all sat down.

"This is for you." Logan said, leaning down and sliding a lunch tray towards me.

"Guys, thanks, but I can't accept this." I said, sliding the tray back. A little reluctant, but If I took it, that would let them know I accepted their help. I wouldn't be the reason they suffered. I couldn't handle the guilt.

"Why not?" James asked, sounding hurt.

"I told you guys, this is the way things have to be. And you're committing social suicide right now, by even sitting with me. I don't want you guys getting hurt." I replied, looking down at the food.

"Kendall, eat the damn food, before I have James and Logan hold you down, while I force feed you." Carlos growled out. I was shocked to hear Carlos talk like that…It was kinda hot. The idea of him force feeding me, while I was pinned down, excited me a little bit. But, I quickly shook my mind of those thoughts when I heard Logan's voice.

"Which one is it going to be, Kendall?" Logan asked, looking at me sternly.

"I will it eat it." I stated, nervously. I then took the tray, as the three of them smiled at me.

"You guys need to leave now, before you kill your reputation. Maybe you should punch me before you go or something." I told them. They all looked at me funny, before Carlos spoke.

"Kendall, get it through your pretty little blonde head, we are not going to hurt you, ever, again." Carlos said, smiling fondly at me...Wait, did he just call me pretty?

"Why?" I asked, curiously.

"Because your life is hard enough, without us using you for our own benefit." Logan said, as he smiled. They were all smiling by the looks of it...

I was about to say something else, when I noticed Dak, Jett and Wayne approaching. Oh great...

Two scenarios ran through my mind at that moment. One, the four of us would get our butts kicked. Or Logan, Carlos and James would join them, and back up with the others as they kicked my ass. For their sake, I hoped for scenario number two.

"What are you guys doing sitting with this loser?" Wayne sneered out, looking at me in disgust.

"You guys need some helping kicking his sorry ass?" Dak said, cracking his knuckles. This was not going to be pretty...

"Yeah, we would be more than happy to help." Jett said, as he laughed a cruel, cold laugh. Even though he looked like he was nervous, I guess he remembered the threat they made.

"He's not a loser, he's our friend." James growled out. I could feel tears forming, not only were they sticking up for me, but James had just called me a friend...It has been so long since I had a friend. A very long time...

"No one is touching Kendall? Understand pricks?" Logan snapped at them.

"Yeah, you want to mess with Kendall, you have to get through us first." Carlos sneered out, as he, James and Logan stood up. I could not believe this was happening...They were standing up for me, in front of the whole school and their popular friends.

"Fine, if this is the way you guy want it." Wayne hissed, looking at them, now, in disgust.  
>"Just know this; your social status is dead now, welcome back Losers." Jett stated, smirking coldly.<br>"You three will regret going against us." Dak growled out, the three of them getting even closer to Carlos, Logan and James. Something was bound to happen...

"That, is where you are wrong." Carlos stated.

"It is you douchebags, who will regret messing with us." James stated also, sneering.

"Kendall, I want you to stay out of the way, okay?" Logan said softly but sternly, looking back at me. I was still too shocked at what was going on to say anything. So all I could do was nod.

...And then, the fight broke out.

I watched as James slammed Jett's head into the table, it made a loud crack when it did. Which made Jett screamed, right before he tried to swing at James. James dodged the swing, grabbing Jett's arm and twisting it back, which caused Jett to scream again.

While with Logan...

Logan kicked Dak in the stomach, sending him to the ground with a loud thud. Logan then dove on top of Dak, and began to punch him in the face with no mercy. I honestly did not know Logan had it in him, I mean based on his size, you wouldn't expect him to be a good fighter, but he was.

But with Carlos...

Carlos kicked Wayne in the crotch, causing him to fall to the ground, muttering loudly swear words, one after another. He then started kicking Wayne in the sides, while yelling at him to stay away from me. He then started jumping up and down, on Wayne like he was a trampoline. I was also surprised at how good a fighter Carlos was, I mean you would never suspect someone like Carlos, to be this good a fighter.

...The guys where clearly winning, well that was till...

"Break it up! NOW!" I heard a teacher yell at them, sounding very angry. I watched as a few teachers broke the fight up, by pulling the boys apart.

"The six of you, to Principal Griffins office. Now." I heard Mr. Bitters ordered them. I felt so bad, because of me, Logan, James and Carlos were going to be in huge trouble. I followed along to the principal's office with them.

_**Later on...**_

I paced back and forth, as I waited for the guys to come out. Dak and his group came out ten minutes ago, they had been suspended for the next month, which I was glad...Even if they glared at me on the way out. I just hoped the others punishment was not as bad. I already ruined their lives enough.

But my thoughts were broken, when the guys came out. I didn't waste any time as I raced over to them eagerly, to hear what happened.

"How much trouble are you guys in?" I asked, trying to hide the tears. This was my fault, all of it.

"None, really." Logan said, shrugging his shoulders..

"Wait, what?" I asked in a daze, not really believing what I was hearing.

"All we have to do, is help janitor Bob for a week." Carlos stated, as he smiled his warm smile at me.

"But how? Dak and the others got suspended. I asked them, still in a daze, somewhat...

"The Principal loves us." James said, smirking.

"He can't stand Dak, and his crew, he says they are nothing but mindless monkeys." Carlos stated, laughing his beautiful laugh.

"Besides, we told him how they are the ones who started it, by messing with our friend." Logan said, beaming. But that made me more dazed...There was that word again, friend.

"You guys just ruined your lives...For me." I said, sighing as I looked down at my feet.

"How so? Carlos asked me, laying his hand on my shoulder. It tingled but I didn't say anything about it.

"By saving me, you killed your popularity." I said. Willing myself not to cry.

"Kendall, we don't care." Logan said, smiling.

"Why did you guys do it?" I asked, looking up at them through my eyelashes. I had to know why they did this to themselves. For someone like me.

"Because, Kendall, your family now, and we always take care of our family." James told me, a huge grin on his face. This time, I could not hold the tears in, not anymore. What he said, meant the world to me. They thought of me as family...I had a family again.

I didn't think twice, as I pulled the three of them into a hug.

"T-Thank you so much. T-That means so much to me." I told them, sobbing tears of joy. After what had happened, I never thought I would have a family again.

"No need to thank us." Logan said, through his own tears.

"We mean it, Kendall, you're a part of this family, now." Carlos said, tears running down his face too.

"And we will make sure, no one hurts you, ever again." James said, patting my head.

I had a family...

_**~That Night~**_

_**~Carlos~**_

"I told you guys my idea would work." James said, triumphantly...More like smugly and cocky.

"Yeah, your idea was going great, until the band of idiots decided to ruin it." Logan said, laughing as his boyfriends smile fell. James then started pouting.

"Guys, all that matters is Kendall is letting us be his friends now." I reminded them, smiling softly.

"Yeah, Carlitos, but Logie and I both know you want to be more than friends with Kendall." James said, winking at me.

"Logie, can we please muzzle your annoying boyfriend." I whined to Logan.

"I can't find a muzzle big enough to fit his mouth. Believe me, I've looked." Logan stated, laughing. I began to laugh too at that, and before me and Logan both knew it, we were laughing so hard, tears were running down our faces.

"You guys are so mean to me." James huffed out, pouting even more so now.

"You know you love us." Logan said, sticking his tongue out at him.

"Yeah I do...Sometimes more then I should. So Carlos, when are you going to tell Kendall about the surprise?" James questioned me, smiling knowingly.

I rolled my eyes at that, as I said,

"Next Friday, okay?"

To tell the truth, I couldn't wait to tell him. Even if I was beyond nervous. And I do mean, beyond.

"You two are so cute, I can't wait to see his face when he finds out." Logan stated, smiling as he snuggled up to James, who in turn, wrapped his arms around him.

I blushed, kicking them with my foot. Which they laughed at.

And that is how the rest of the night went. But I couldn't help but think about the surprise the whole time after.

Hopefully he said yes...

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, Kendalls LogieBear, lord kiras hand, PotatoCake, RoyalShadow, mavk4444, KogansWolfGirl, Whatwhy, santiyonr91, Hikari no Kasai, ImprecantesStellam, dbz7000, rosiedoll, Kogan4ever, seddielover1311, BreakFree, sunshineandgothic, GleeShadow for reviewing the last chapter.


	11. Surprise

We are, now, on our way to Kendall's house. So I could tell him the good news we had. I replayed in my head, the phone call I had with my mom.

_~Flashback~_

_"Hey, mom..." I said, pulling my phone up to my ear. The reason I am talking to her, is because to talk to her about Kendall._

_"Carlos, sweetie, how are you?" My mother asked, in her polite, soft voice. Even though I knew she didn't have much time to talk, so I cut to the chase._

_"I'm good...Listen, mom, I have a friend who needs some help." I told her, quickly. I knew her time to talk was small._

_"Logan or James didn't get hurt, did they?" Mom asked, worried. She thought of Logan and James and her sons too, and she hated the idea of any of us getting hurt._

_"No mom, it's not them that need help. It's my friend Kendall." I said, hesitantly. I didn't know if it was okay to tell her about what happened to Kendall..._

_"Who is Kendall, sweetie?" Mom asked, sounding very curious now. How couldn't she be, I never said anything about him before._

_"He is a kid who goes to our school, and has recently become a friend, a good friend to me, Logan and James." I told her, a warm smile playing at my lips when I thought of Kendall being our friend, finally._

_"What does he need help with?" Mom asked, her voice still polite and sweet. Even though I could tell she was worried._

_"You see...he is homeless, and without family. He lives in an abandoned house, in town." I told her, sadness thick in my voice._

_"That is horrible." My mother replied, sounding like she was going to cry. She is a very kind woman and does not like seeing people suffer. That is one thing I love most about my mom, she would give up everything for a person in need._

_"What happened to his family?" She questioned me, sounding even more curious then before. But I knew she would ask that, and with careful thinking, I decided I would have to tell her everything, if I wanted to help Kendall that is._

_"...They disowned him over a year ago, because he was gay. They also had high connections, and made it so Kendall could not get a job." I told her; slightly angry at how Kendall's parents treated him. I still couldn't believe MY Kendall was treated so horribly. By his own parents none the less._

_"How could someone do something to a child!" Mom exclaimed to me, she sounded very angry. Mom was like that when it came to kids in need and people didn't help them..._

_"So...I was wondering, since his living state is so horrible... could Kendall live with us?" I asked, hesitantly. This question would change all our lives. Hopefully for the better._

_"You really do care about this boy, don't you?" Mom asked softly, and I blushed at her question. But thank god she couldn't see that through the phone. She would know how I felt about him..._

_"I do, We all do." I added, quickly, so it wouldn't look like I was in crush mod with him...Which I was, really._

_"It's fine with me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, knowing that poor child was homeless, while we had plenty of room at home...Besides, James and Logan live there anyway, what's one more?" Mom said, laughing when she said the last part._

_"Thanks, mom! You're the best!" I exclaimed, excitedly. Kendall will finally have a home!_

_I then told my mom I loved her, and then I hung up the phone._

_~End flashback~_

"We're here." James said, as he stopped the car in front of the house. I then took a look at the house before I got out, this house has been Kendall's home for over a year...But not anymore.

"I can't believe Kendall has lived here all this time." Logan said, sighing as he also got out of the car, James did the same after him.

"Yeah, I could never imagine going through what he has been through. Ever." James added as he locked his car doors.

"Me either, but now it is over. He gets to live with us!" I said, excitedly. We then made our way to the front door, once we got there, I knocked on the door.

After ten minutes, with no answer, we got worried...More like I got super worried.

"Let's just go in." James stated, cracking his knuckles. Acting like big macho man.

"But, baby, that is breaking and entering. And that is a no-no." Logan said, crossing his arms. He was like our, responsible parent.

"Logie, Kendall could be hurt, screw the law." I said, annoyed. James nodded in agreement and he grabbed Logan's arm. Logan groaned, giving up, as we made our way inside...Well, after James picked the lock first that is.

Once we got inside, we looked throughout the house, but found no signs of Kendall at all. I got even more scared then...

"Where could he be?" I asked, worry laced all in my voice.

"I have no clue, it's only one in the afternoon though." James said, shrugging his shoulders. He was right...He could be anywhere, no need to worry right now...Maybe.

"Let's check around town, I'm sure we can find him somewhere." Logan suggested, as we made our way out of the house, to the car.

I hoped nothing was wrong with Kendall...

_**~Kendall~**_

I was in the park, trying to make some money for something to eat. Saturdays at the park were always busy, so I was hoping it would be easy to get a few bucks.

I know that Logan, James and Carlos are my friends now, and they offered to help me with no strings attached, but I didn't want to burden them. I mean what kind of friend uses his friends for food? Not a good one, that's for sure.

I then started thinking of another song to perform, when just then, I heard a familiar voice behind me, which I then turned around, to be greeted by my friends.

I blushed in embarrassment, looking down, when they walked up to me. I did not want them to see me like this. Not now, not ever.

"Kendall, we have been looking all over for you." Logan said, relief in his voice.

"We were worried you got hurt, or something." James said, patting my shoulder, while Carlos smiled warmly at me. I was touched they actually were concerned for my well-being. It made me feel important to them...I still couldn't believe they cared about me.

"What are you doing here, Kendall?" Carlos asked, curiosity in his voice. I didn't really want to tell them, but I had decided I would be honest with my friends, I didn't want to have any secrets.

"I-I 'm trying to make money, by singing, so I can hopefully have some dinner tonight." I stated, lowering my head in shame.

"Kendall, why didn't you come to us? We would've given you food." Logan said, his voice thick with tears.

"I didn't want to be a burden..." I whimpered out, looking down at my feet.

"Kendall, your family, therefore you are not a burden." James said, putting his hand back on my shoulder and he squeezed my shoulder lightly. I looked up at that, with tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered out, shaky.

"Kendall, no need to be sorry. You were only being selfless." Carlos said, smiling a watery smile.

"I'm just ashamed you guys had to see me like this." I said, more tears coming down my cheeks.

"There is no reason for you to feel that way, none at all." Logan said, sternly but warmly. Like a parent.

"Yeah, this does not change how we feel about you Kendall. Nothing can ever change how we feel." Carlos said, determination laced all in his voice.

"You're still our brother, always will be." James said, as he smiled at me. With that, I couldn't hold it in anymore,

I pulled the three of them into a hug, a tight hug. It has been so long since I had felt this way, and it was wonderful feeling. Finally, after over a year, I had people who loved me.

"Kendall, Carlos has something to tell you." Logan said, as he and James pulled out of the hug...But not Carlos, he held on tighter. And it made me feel giddy.

"Carlos, you can stop hugging Kendall, now." James said, laughing. Logan chuckled a little too.

Honestly, I never wanted Carlos to stop, it felt so good having him in my arms, like this is where we were meant to be. For forever...

"I don't wanna." Carlos moaned out, clinging on tighter than before. And I could feel myself blush bright red. Did that mean he was enjoying this, as much as me?...Snap out of it Knight! Carlos is straight!

"You have to tell Kendall the good news, though." Logan stated, smiling warmly.

But, at hearing that, I got very curious. But...

"Shut up, Logie, five more minutes." Carlos whined out.

_"He must really love hugs"_ I thought to myself. Not like I minded at all.

"Carlos...they are right, tell me the news." I said, breaking the hug, although, it was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment. And I do mean, the LAST thing I wanted to do.

"Fine...Stupid Logie, and James for ruining the hug moment." Carlos complained, pouting. While the three of us laughed at it.

"I promise, we can hug again, sometime." I told him, smiling nervously. I mean, friends hug, right?

"Really!" Carlos cheered out, his eyes lighting up with hopefulness.

"Really. You really love hugs, don't you Carlos?" I asked, smiling warmly. I was really fond of Carlos.

"Oh, he loves hugs alright, especially from.." James started off, but Logan and Carlos glared at him, and he shut right up. I had no idea what that was about though, so I shrugged it off as nothing.

I really wanted to know what they had to tell me, though, now.

And they must of figured that out, because then...

"I talked to my mom, and she said you could live with us." Carlos said, as he, and the others smiled at me.

"What?" I questioned, as my mouth hung open. I couldn't believe this...It had to be a dream.

"T-Thanks, Carlos...But I couldn't. Really." I said, looking down again. It wouldn't be fair of me.

"Why the hell not?" James asked, fiercely. Boy, he could be feisty.

"I wouldn't want to impose, or be a burden to all of you." I said, shrugging my shoulder, nonchalantly.

"Look, Kendall, we already said you're not a burden. And you aren't. Really." Logan said, leaning his arm on James' shoulder. I guess it was subtle way of affection for them in public.

"Besides, Logan and James live with me anyway, so my mom said one more wouldn't hurt." Carlos said, smiling.  
>"Why do you two live with him?" I asked, confused. I know they both had their own homes, so it didn't make much sense to me.<p>

"Because none of our parents are ever really home, and we are only children, so to keep us from feeling lonely, our parents let us stay with Carlos, at his house." Logan answered, smiling at me.

"Yep, it's perfect for Logie and me, because we can have as much sex as we want, without worry of parents catching us." James said, a huge smirk making its way on his face. Which made me blush at how freely he talked about his and Logan's sex life. I was a shy person, so to think about someone being able to talk so freely, it made me flushed.

"Logie and I." Logan corrected, his boyfriend. Which made Carlos smile.

"Logie and I, what?" James asked, looking genuinely confused.

"Logie and I can have as much sex as we want." Logan said, rolling his eyes at James. Even though James still looked like he didn't understand...Well, at least he has good looks. Or he would be a goner.

"Logie, why do you have to have sex with yourself? Isn't four times a day with me, enough?" James asked, hurt thick in his voice.

Which made Logan groan, waving his hands in a "I give up" gesture, while Carlos and I busted out laughing.

"Yes it is, James, I was just telling you the right way to say that sentence." Logan said, now slapping his hand to his forehead. These two were funny together...They were an odd couple, but I could see they loved each other.

"I'm good now." James stated, smiling carefree now. And that is when I decided to get the conversation back on track.

"So...It's just the three of you living together?" I asked them, looking at Carlos. I mean it is his house...

"Well, us, and my butler Sebastian." Carlos answered, shrugging his shoulders. The other two nodded in agreement with him.

"And, you guys really want me to live with you?" I asked, slightly nervous of what they would say. Even though I was beyond happy if they did.

"Of course we do! There isn't anything we want more." Logan assured me, beaming now his bright smile.

"Yeah, it will be nice to have someone who isn't a shorty." James said, causing both of us to laugh, as Carlos and Logan glared at us. Even if it was a playful glare.

I then looked at Carlos, my eyes asking for his answer... his answer mattered the most to me. I wouldn't move in if he wasn't okay with it.

"Nothing would make us happier Kendall." He said, as the three of them came closer to me, and they pulled me into a group hug. It made my heart swell.

I had a family again, and this time, one that would love and support me no matter what.

For forever.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, W0ND3R, KogansWolfGirl, seddielover1311, mavk4444, Fallenangelqueen, Kendalls LogieBear, santiyonr91, GleeShadow, sunshineandgothic, Kogan4ever, dbz7000, Lansten, RoyalShadow, ImprecantesStellam, BreakFree, and Hikari no Kasai for reviewing last chapter.


	12. The Project

It was the day our projects were due for Mr. Bitters' class, and we have never been so thankful for a class in our lives...Because of this class, Kendall became our friend...An unforgettable thing.

We also had a talk with Mr. Bitter's about the project, and he agreed with us, that since James, Logan and I have known each other our whole lives, we shouldn't have to report on anyone, but Kendall. Since we didn't know him as well before this project. Kendall would have to for us though.

I was so relieved he agreed, since, well, Kendall is my favorite subject and most talked about person. I know that Kendall is nervous about it, but the guys and I meant what we said about keeping his secret, well, a secret from everyone else. He tried to convince us that it was okay for us to tell, since he had just ruined our social status, but we wouldn't do that to him. He was part of our family now, and you don't do that to family.

I just hope Kendall would understand that someday...

_**~Break Line~**_

It was finally our group' turn to go up in front of the class. James would go first, then Logan, and Kendall and I would go last. We had decided earlier, that the three of us would each tell a few little things about Kendall, since we only had to talk about him and not each other.

"I didn't know much about Kendall Knight, when this project first started. He was just one of those kids me and my friends bullied every day...But, the more I got to know him, the more I saw what an amazing person he is. He was so scared to trust us at first, I couldn't blame him either, I mean, my friends and I were jerks to him for no reason at all. He is one of the best people in the world, now that I know him. Because, despite how me and my friends treated him, he kept our secrets save. He had the chance to crush us, but he didn't, and that is only one part of him that makes him a great person." James said, glancing over at Kendall. I could tell Kendall was touched by what James said. A lone tear was making its way down his face.

Logan went up next,

"Looking back, I can't believe how cruel and hateful we were to Kendall. Although, I only just started to get to know him, in this short amount of time I learned very quickly that he is a loyal friend, who always puts others before his own needs. Even though Kendall is treated like dirt by other people, he would still, if push came to shove, do anything to help them, even though they are the very people who cause him the most pain. If I had to describe the ideal qualities I would want in a superhero, if I was asked, I would say Kendall Knight in a heartbeat. The world needs more wonderful people like Kendall." Logan said, beaming at Kendall. Who in turn, smiled a watery smile.

I agreed with everything he had said though. Kendall is a real life superhero. An angel with a golden heart.

It was my turn now, I stood up by James and Logan,

"Kendall is unlike any person I have ever met before. He loves to sing, it's almost like breathing to him, and yes, he has an amazing voice. Kendall also has a heart of gold, pure gold. He has been through so much more than most people his age, but even then, he never gave up on his dream. Not once. Not many people would be able to stay strong like that. James, Logan and I where huge jerks to Kendall, like the others said, but, even though we treated him like our own personally punching bag, he still forgave us and accepted us as his friends with open arms. How many people would do something like that? Not many. But it's only one of Kendall's amazing qualities. His last name is Knight, and to us, he is a Knight in every sense of the word. He brought the real us back, the one we should've been proud of. He showed us real friends' mattered more, than a thousand fake ones. We will never be able to repay Kendall for all he has done for us, but we'll try with all our might. We are proud to call him our brother, our family." I finished looking around at my three friends. James and Logan were nodding their heads in approval. And I could see the unshed tears in my Kendall's eyes, but I knew they were tears of happiness.

He was finally happy...

_**~Kendall~**_

I was speechless, no, speechless was a major understatement. I couldn't believe what they had just said. I never expected any of that. Not at all. And knowing how they felt, made me realize what I was about to do, was in fact, worth it. I knew they would keep their promise, and not tell my dark past...But, last night I decided I would. I felt like I owed it to them. They lost their popularity defending me...It was the least I could do to even things.

So when I stood up, and I stood in between Carlos and Logan,

"When Mr. Bitters first assigned this project, I didn't want to do it, it was the last thing I wanted actually. I mean, I was partnered with my three biggest tormentors. I thought James, Logan and Carlos were these cold-hearted monsters. But then, the more time I spent with them, I knew that was far from the truth."

I continued, talking about James first,

"James Diamond, he is a caring and protective person when it comes to the people he loves. He will do anything to keep those he cares about safe. He is a huge softie, when it comes to his friends. He comes off as vain, and as a cold person, but he isn't when you get to know him." I smiled over at him when I was done. I smiled a bit more when I saw him flash me a huge smile.

But I then continued on with Logan,

"Logan Mitchell, he's a really smart guy. He loves Batman, and because of that, he only wears black socks. Like James, he also is a caring person to the people he loves. He would drop whatever he is doing at that second, to make sure the people he loves are okay and safe." I finished off, laying my hand on his shoulder, which he did the same to me, wrapping his arm around that shoulder.

I took a deep breath when I finished off, with Carlos,

Carlos Garcia, I always viewed him as a mindless beast, willing to harm anyone beneath him, and his friends...But, as time went on, and I grew to know him, I realized he is actually a really sweet guy. He has a huge love of corndogs, and I do mean huge love. But, also, Carlos, like James and Logan, value friendship and would be willing to do anything for his friends..." I looked over at Carlos, smiling a warm and tender smile. Which he didn't waste any time doing the same back.

But now was the time to tell my secret...I took an even bigger breath this time, looking straight at the class,

"But what really made me see that they weren't the monsters I thought, was because they saved me, when my own family threw me away like I was nothing." I stated, firmly, not stuttering a bit.

"Kendall! What are you doing?" Carlos whispered in my ear, sounding shell-shocked.

"What I think is right." I said, smiling around at my worried and shocked friends.

"You see, when I was fifteen, I came out to my parents that I was gay. I figured they would love me regardless. But, I was wrong...I was kicked out of my home, not able to leave with anything but the clothes on my back...My parents said I brought shame to the family, and I was a disappointment. To further punish me, they used their connections, to make sure no one would hire me, and, of course, they succeeded.

I looked around the classroom, watching all their shocked faces as I continued,

So, for over a year, I lived in an abandoned run down house. It wasn't much, but it helped keep me warm during the winters. For the first few weeks, I didn't have a bed... So, I would sleep on the floor with a worn out blanket I had found in a trash can in town. I eventual found an old worn out mattress on the side of the road, and I brought it home, but, like my home, it wasn't much but I was grateful for it...For all of it."

I smiled a soft, gentle smile as I then said, this is my favorite part...

"I would sing on the streets, to try to make money, to buy food so I wouldn't have to go to bed hungry...but, I would not always succeed. But, the sweet lunch lady Miss. Wainwright would give me any leftover food after school. she just thought money was tight at home, but even though she did not know I was homeless, she would still try to give me food...but, since we have such a huge school, that would be a rare thing sometimes. When that didn't work, I would dig through any trash cans I could, find hoping I would find some ounce of food. It was hard, not knowing if I would live to see another day, but it was my life...And, I had accepted it would always be that way."

I felt Logan squeeze my shoulder gently, as I then told the class,

"One of my biggest fears, would be that Carlos, Logan and James would learn my secret, then use against me, to torture me more...But, when they did learn my secret, when they followed me to my home, rather than torture me...They tried to help. I pushed them away at first though...My time on the streets, my families' betrayal and the way they acted at school towards me, made me lose my trust in people. But they eventually opened up to me about their own pasts, which you all know now, thanks to Dak and his big mouth."

I looked over at Dak, finally having the courage to glare at him, as I continued,

But after that, I still pushed them away, I didn't want them to get hurt, by helping me. I felt if I could at least save someone else from suffering, then I would do it no matter what happened to me. But, of course, these three knuckleheads would not listen to me."

I heard the three of them chuckling when I said that, but they kept silent so I could finish talking,

They bought me lunch, sat with me even though everyone could see, then when Dak and his little group tried to mess with me, they saved me. Carlos has even opened up his home to me. I now know I have a home, with a family, that cares about me...A-And I no longer go to bed hungry, or sleep on an old mattress...I never thought I would have any of those things again, but now I do, and it's all because of them. I guess that old saying of don't judge a book by its cover, is true...I judged them as monsters, but they turned out to be my super heroes."

I finished my presentation and I looked around the classroom again. This time, everyone one of my classmates had tears in their eyes. I looked at Mr. Bitters and he too was crying, shockingly. James, Carlos and Logan pulled me into a hug, as the three of them started crying also. Which made me start crying.

But...The bell rang shortly after I finished, and I went to leave, when I heard Mr. Bitters voice.

"Kendall could you Logan, Carlos and James wait a minute?"

"Sure." The four of us replied at once.

As soon as everyone else left, he began to speak again.

"It seems Mr. Rocque was right."Mr Bitters said, smiling a small smile.

"What do you mean?" James asked, genuinely confused, we all were. At least he was able to say what we all were thinking.

"Kendall, after you made that speech to him a few weeks ago, and then ran out... He began to suspect something was wrong. He shared his concern with me and Principal Griffin, and we thought it may have something to do with Logan, Carlos and James. At first we thought they were harassing you, but then when Ms. Wainwright reported that she felt James, Logan and Carlos weren't bad kids, that they were just scarred. We decided to do something. That is how this assignment was born." Mr. Bitters confessed, smiling warmly. Another shocking thing, on top of another.

"So...You created this assignment to bring us together?" Carlos said, cocking his head to the side in shock.

"Yes Carlos." Mr. Bitters stated, still smiling. He really was a mystery...

"Why?" Logan asked, secretly leaning behind me and holding James' hand behind my back. My face flushed almost instantly, and I swear I saw James smirk. That jerk...

"Because, we realized the four of you were lost. You needed each other. So we came up with a way to put you all together." Mr. Bitters answered. I just stood there taking this all in. This was a real shock...

"Thank you." I said, leaning forward, as I started hugging Mr. Bitters. I owed him, Miss. Wainwright, Principal Griffin and Mr. Rocque. They helped give me a family again. I was eternally grateful.

"No need to thank me, Kendall. I am just glad things will now be better...For all four of you." Mr. Bitters, said pulling back from the hug and he smiled at all of us.

But...That's when the warning bell rang, and the four of us quickly thanked Mr. Bitters again, before we then went our separate ways to class. Smiling all the way.

My life was finally turning up,

But more than that...

I had a family, and a home.

I couldn't be happier.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **BreakFree, mavk4444, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, Kendalls LogieBear, dbz7000, lord kiras hand, GleeShadow, KogansWolfGirl, Fallenangelqueen, seddielover1311, Anim3Fan4Ever, Whatwhy, Hikari no Kasai, Kogan4ever, Lansten, RoyalShadow, sunshineandgothic, PotatoCake, BigTimeGaga, ImprecantesStellamfor reviewing last chapter.


	13. Perfect

I had learned a lot in these past three weeks, living with Carlos. First, always knock on James door before entering his room, since he likes to walk around his room naked. I learned that the hard way. Second, if you try to have a conversation with Logan before he has had his morning pop tart, he will snap your head off... He has a very colorful vocabulary. Third, Carlos is so cute, even when he sleeps...I may have watched him once or twice. But one thing is for sure, these past three weeks have been the best of my life.

I was currently looking for the guys, even after three weeks here, I still get lost in Carlos house. I was just about to give up looking and head back to my room, when I heard their voices coming from the library. And that's when I started making my way towards the door. I noticed it was cracked open a bit when I got closer, and I was about to head in, when I heard the guys talking.

"Carlos, when do you plan to tell Kendall?" I heard James ask. And my interest immediately increased. I began to worry, wondering if they were tired of me, and were going to throw me out.

"I don't know." I heard Carlos say through a sigh.

"Dude, he has lived here three weeks, and has been our friend longer than that. You need to tell him." I heard Logan tell Carlos.

"How can I tell him? We were such jerks to him." I heard Carlos say through a sniffle.

"Dude, he forgave us, and is our friend now, like Logie said." I head James say. I really wanted to know what the hell they were talking about now. This must be important.

"Forgiving us, and being our friend is different, than forgiving me, and wanting to go on a date with me." I heard Carlos say back to James...But, this time...I didn't care about anything else they were saying. ..Because...  
>My jaw felt like it dropped to the floor, and I couldn't believe what I had heard. Carlos said he wanted to take me on a date. He felt the same way I felt...<p>

He liked me too.

How did I get so lucky?

I decided to go to my room after that, I had some work to do.

_**~Later that night~**_

I kept pacing back and forth in front of Carlos' garage, I told Logan to tell Carlos to meet me here at six, it's now five minutes from six. Sebastian was already waiting in the limo, I filled him in on my plans earlier, and he agreed to help me. He seemed very happy to do so actually.

But I was brought out of my thoughts, when I heard the door open and saw Carlos walk out to where I was.

"H-Hey Carlos." I stated, my voice shaking a little. I was so nervous!

"Hey Kendall...Logan said you wanted to see me?" Carlos said, smiling a rich, warm smile. It made my heart turn into a fluttering mess.

"Y-Yeah...I was wondering if you wanted to take a drive? Sebastian is already in the limo, waiting." I stuttered out, trying to hide the blush that was forming, as Carlos stared at me confused.

"Where...And why?" Carlos asked me, looking and sounding very suspicious. It was written all over his face.

"Just come on. You trust me, right?" I asked him, even more nervously then before, if he said no, my plans were ruined.

"I do." Carlos said, smiling, holding onto my hand. It made my heart go even crazier; just one touch sent me into a daze. He was something, and I hope he would be mine.

"Great, let's go." I stated, dragging him to the limo. My nerves were skyrocketing, and I felt like I was dying, but in a good way.

Once we got in and shut the doors, I turned over to him.

"Put this on." I said, handing Carlos a blindfold as soon as our seat-belts were on. He looked so confused, but he took the blindfold anyway.

"Why?" He questioned me, sounding quite curious now. He was so cute when he's this way...

"Just trust me." I said, smiling a nervous smile. I wanted this all to be perfect. And it was making me nervous that it might not go that way.

"Fine." Carlos stated, pouting as he put the blindfold on. He was so adorable. I can't believe someone like him, liked me back. It was like a dream.

"Where are we going?" Carlos asked ten minutes later, looking around blindly, still pouting. It made me chuckle as I then said,

"It's a surprise."

_**~Break Line~**_

For the next thirty minutes, we sat in silence, well somewhat, Carlos' pouty face was adorable and I couldn't help but laugh.

But, anyway, other than that, that's how it was till we reached our destination. Once we got there, I thanked Sebastian, and I then led Carlos out of the car. I had my arm wrapped around him. Guiding him down the steps.

"Kendall, can I take this thing off yet?" Carlos whined out, holding onto my waist tightly. God, he was just so cute. I just really hope what I'm doing won't screw our friendship up, I'd rather have him in my life just as friend, then not have him as anything at all.

"Almost." But I put it in the back of my mind, when I told him this. We were close to where we needed to be.

We continued to walk for a bit, in silence, all but our footsteps down stairs.

"Okay, now you can take it off." I stated after a while, and once we reached the bottom of the steps. We've reached our destination. I watched as he unwrapped his arms from around me, and pulled off the blindfold. I smiled warmly, as I heard Carlos gasp at the site in front of him.

"K-Kendall...What is this?" Carlos stuttered out, gesturing to the picnic I had James and Logan set up on the beach earlier. After I filled them in also, they had been more than eager to help me plan the perfect first date. It did look perfect.

"A picnic under the stars for just the two of us." I said, smiling. I let go of his shoulder, and I took his hand in mine. Which sent a spark throughout my body.

"Why?" Carlos asked, now blushing hotly.

"I heard what you and the guys talked about in the library earlier." I said. I was now smiling shyly.

"Crap...You were not supposed to hear that. You hate me now, right?" He questioned me, looking down in shame.

But all I could do was smile in relief at the fact he was as worried as I was, about one of us ending up hating each other. .

"Carlos, if I hated you, would've I had this picnic set up?" I told him, tilting his head up. I wanted him to see my eyes and see the truth in them.

"I guess..." He mumbled out, blushing wildly. It was so dang adorable.

"For now let's just eat, I'll explain more later." I then said, still smiling. I took his hand and we made our way to the blanket. I could tell he was still blushing. It made a smile stick on my face.

"Alright." Carlos said, once we got to the blanket, and he sat down. I joined him, taking a seat next to him.

This was a prefect night already, I can't wait to see how the rest plays out.

_**~Break Line~**_

Once we finished eating, we just sat there looking at the stars and making small talk with each other. As it got colder though, Carlos snuggled into me and before I knew it, I was holding him in my arms as we watched the moon shine over the ocean. I never wanted the moment to end.

"So, now can I know what all this was for?" Carlos broke the silence, looking up at me through his thick black eyelashes.

"Our first date." I stated, smiling down at him, looking into those chocolate colored eyes that I loved so much.

"F-first date?" Carlos strutted out, looking at me now is shock. But, the bright blush on his cheeks made me have the courage to say what I was going to next.

_**"**_Yes." I said, this moment would determine my future with Carlos. Hopefully for the better.

"How could you want to date someone as horrible as me?" Carlos sniffed out, hiding his face in my shoulder. It made my heart ache painfully and I tighten my hold on him. Vowing to myself that I would never hurt him.

"You are not horrible Carlos." I told him, in a soft, gentle voice.

"Yes I am...All that horrible stuff I did to you. Y-You don't do that to someone you care about." Carlos stumbled out, his eyes watering. I could feel it on my shirt, but I didn't care. It was just a shirt, Carlos is someone that means the world to me.

"Carlos, it's okay. I told you before, that I understood. You were just scared." I consoled him, my voice filled with confidence. Which I was shocked I had. But, Carlos brought that out with me.

"That is no excuse." Carlos whined out, finally looking up at me. He's always so adorable.

"Let's not talk about that right now." I told him, running my fingers through his hair gently.

"What do we talk about then?" Carlos questioned me, wiping his tears away.

"When was the first moment you knew you had feelings for me?" I asked him, trying to change the subject to something lighter. I didn't want him to be sad. Not on our first date. Of hopefully hundreds.

"October twelfth, of last year." Carlos stated, now smiling tenderly.

"My first day of school?" I asked, in a daze. I couldn't believe he has had feelings for me just as long as I have for him. This was fate. It had to be.

"Yeah, the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were special Kendall. I never believed in love at first sight, until I met you Kendall." Carlos stated, looking deeply into my eyes. It made my heart speed up, and I couldn't help the blush that now covered my cheeks.

"That is not cheesy is it?" Carlos asked me shyly. He was now blushing too.

"No, it's not...Because truth be told, that was the same for me on that day." I confessed, smiling shyly.

"Really?" Carlos exclaimed, sounding like he was the one now in a daze. It's funny how all this time we waited for this moment to be together...But, I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Yeah. I used to think that love was something fools made up, because all I knew was heartbreak. I mean my own family had turned their backs on me, so I gave up on love. But, then, I saw you on my first day of school. And you made me feel things that I thought I would never feel again, just by smiling." I started out with, smiling fondly at the memory.

"I wanted to talk to you...But, then you James and Logan dumped me in the trashcan. And that is when I decided to repress my feelings for you. But now, these past few weeks I got to learn the real you, and the feelings came back. But I was afraid you wouldn't return my feelings. I would rather have had you in my life as a friend, then not have you at all. That all changed today though, when I heard what you said and I decided to take a chance on this." I finished with, stroking Carlos' cheek. It felt good to get all that out.

I've bottled it up for so long.

"I'm sorry we dumped you in the trashcan." Carlos blurted out. Which made me start laughing.

"Seriously, that is what you get from my speech?" I questioned him, still laughing. It was a carefree laugh. One that I haven't made in such a long time.

"I just wanted you to know that, before I did this." Carlos stated, now smirking. I was confused as of why he was wiggling up in my arms.

"Do wha-"

I tried to say, but I was cut off by Carlos lips against mine. I was having my first kiss and it was magical. I felt so many sparks. It was amazing soft, and passionate, and I could tell Carlos was enjoying it as much as I was. When we finally had to pull apart for air, I was disappointed. I craved for his lips.

"Wow." I heard Carlos breathe out. He looked all breathless, and flush. I would be lying if I didn't say that he looked hot.

"Yeah wow" I agreed, bring my fingers up to my now slightly swollen lips. I will never forget this...

And for some reason, a song popped into my head and I couldn't help but sing softly to him.

_"You never know when you're gonna meet someone_

_And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone_  
><em>You're just walking around and suddenly <em>  
><em>Everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone<em>

_You find out it's all been wrong_  
><em>And all my scars don't seem to matter anymore<em>  
><em>Cause they led me here to you<em>  
><em><br>I know that its gonna take sometime _  
><em>I've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind<em>  
><em>This might end up like it should<em>  
><em>And I'm gonna say what I need to say<em>  
><em>And hope to god that it don't scare you away<em>  
><em>Don't wanna be misunderstood<em>  
><em>But I'm starting to believe that this could be the start of something good<em>

_Everyone knows life has its Ups and downs_  
><em>One day you're on top of the world and one day you're the clown<em>

_Well I've been both enough to know_  
><em>That you don't wanna get in the way when its working out<em>  
><em>The way that it is right now<em>  
><em>You see my heart i wear it on my sleeve<em>  
><em>Cause I just can't hide it anymore<em>  
><em><br>I know that it's gonna take sometime _  
><em>I've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind<em>  
><em>This might end up like it should<em>  
><em>And I'm gonna say what I need to say<em>  
><em>And hope to god that it don't scare you away<em>  
><em>Don't wanna be misunderstood<em>  
><em>But I'm starting to believe that this could be the start<em>

_Cause I don't know where it's going_  
><em>There's a part of me that loves not knowing <em>  
><em>Just don't let it end before we begin<em>

_You never know when you gonna meet someone_  
><em>And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone<em>  
><em><br>I know that its gonna take sometime _  
><em>I've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind<em>  
><em>This might end up like it should<em>  
><em>And I'm gonna say what I need to say<em>  
><em>And hope to god that it don't scare you away<em>  
><em>Don't wanna be misunderstood<em>  
><em>But I'm starting to believe <em>  
><em>Oh I'm starting to believe that this could be the start of something good"<em>

"Kendall...That was amazing." Carlos exclaimed, excitedly, as he then kissed my cheek.

"T-Thanks...I just thought of it, when we kissed." I admitted, bashfully. I was blushing again, he seems to always make me blush. And I seem to do that too, to him.

"Well, I guess I should inspire you some more..." He told me in a lower tone, as he pressed his lips against mine again. This time better than before.

My life couldn't get any better.

I had a home.

Amazing friends.

And I now was together with the love of my life.

Everything was perfect.

**Author Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. Or the song Kendall sand in this Chapter.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to **GleeShadow, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, sunshineandgothic, KogansWolfGirl, Whatwhy, W0ND3R, BreakFree, BigTimeGaga, Kogan4ever, Hikari no Kasai, seddielover1311, Anim3Fan4Ever, mavk4444, RoyalShadow, LyssaxGirl, dbz7000, lord kiras hand, KakashiWave for reviewing last chapter.


	14. A Mother Knows

We had just pulled into the garage after finishing another boring day of school. I was so glad to be home and even happier that I finally had a home. We made our way into the living room when I noticed three women I had never seen before. I was about to ask the guys who they were but I was cut off.

"Mom!"

I heard my friends and my boyfriend yell as they raced to the women who eagerly hugged them back. I was happy the guys' moms were visiting. From what I learned, their moms hardly ever get the chance to be with them.

But as I watched them, I couldn't help but feel jealous as I thought about the last time I had hugged my own mom. It was the day before I had come out, which was also her birthday. I had sung her the mom song which I had written her when I was nine.

She loved that song and would always give me a hug after I performed it for her. I could feel the tears coming down my face at the memory. I decided I did not want the others to see me crying. I turned around to leave. I mean it was their family moment and I would just be in the way. I was almost out of the room when I heard someone call me. 

"Kendall where are you going?," Carlos said as I turned around. Everyone in the room was staring at me. 

"I was going to head to my room." I replied.

"Why?" James asked me. I really did not want to answer. 

"I did not want to get in the way." I whispered hoping they would not hear me. I still did not like to be a burden. 

"Kendall you are not in the way." Logan said as they made their way towards me. They dragged me into the living room and had me sit down.

"Kendall this is my mom Joanna Mitchell," Logan said smiling. Logan's mom had short black hair with brown eyes. Her complexion was similar to Logan's. 

"Nice to meet you, Kendall," Mrs. Mitchell said smiling. 

"Nice to meet you to." I said looking down into my lap.

"This is my mom Brooke Diamond." James said beside his mom. Mrs. Diamond had short brown hair with hazel eyes like James. She was really tall and had a tan.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Kendall." Mrs. Diamond said.  
>"The pleasure is all mine," I said looking down once again as I answered. <p>

"Kendall this is my mom, Sylvia," Carlos said still hugging his mother. I smiled at how adorable my Carlos was. Mrs. Garcia had long black hair with brown eyes and a similar complexion to Carlos. 

"So you're Kendall? I am so glad to finally meet you. Carlos only says good things about you."  
>Mrs. Garcia smiled at me. I blushed at her words. <p>

"It is an honor to meet you." I said lowering my head once again.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Carlos asked

"What?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Being so polite and lowering you head when you talk to our moms." Logan stated.

"Dad always told me to be polite as possible and never look people who were above me in the eyes." I answered even after all these years I still follow that lesson my father taught me.

"Whenever dad had friends or clients over he always told me that and if I did not follow I went to bed grounded." 

"Kendall that is awful." James said. 

"No, it's not. I don't want to disrespect your moms." I said looking at everyone else in the room. 

"Kendall sweetie you do not have to do any of that around us." Mrs. Diamond smiled. 

"Brooke is right, Kendall. You are part of this family and everyone is equal when it comes to family," Mrs. Garcia said as everyone else took a seat.

"So how did you boys meet?" Mrs. Mitchell asked. I noticed the others cringe and I knew they must not have told their moms about our history. I was about to make up a story so the guys would be ok. But Carlos beat me to it. 

"Kendall is one of the kids we used to bully," Carlos answered. 

"What do you mean?," Mrs. Diamond asked.

"The three of us used to be huge jerks to Kendall." James stated giving me an apologetic look. The three of them still did that from time to time. 

"Why would you boys do something so horrible?" Mrs. Mitchell asked. I could hear the disbelief in her voice.

"We did it to make sure no one would bully us. So we would beat Kendall and other kids to build our rep up and it worked we ruled the school. Kendall was our main target." Logan said a few tears escaping. 

"I am disappointed in you boys." Mrs. Diamond said shaking her head. 

"Believe me mom we hate ourselves for all the pain we caused Kendall." James said glancing at me. I hated I was ruining their reunion with their moms. 

"What changed?" Mrs. Mitchell asked. 

"We were assigned to be partners for a school project and we got to learn what Kendall was like." Logan smiled. 

"After we learned how Kendall lived we decided to tell him the truth about us we felt we had to. After he learned about us he volunteered to still be our punching bag" Carlos said. 

"Why would you do that Kendall?" Mrs. Garcia questioned me. 

"I knew how bad words and fists could hurt and if I could keep the guys safe from that I would. I did not want them to get hurt and since I am worth nothing I felt it was for the best. But they ruined my plans." I said smiling at my friends. 

"Kendall you're a special young man." Mrs. Diamond said smiling at me. 

"Thank you." I told her. 

"Our boys are lucky to have you as a friend" Mrs. Mitchell smiled. 

"I am the lucky one." I told her honestly. Logan, Carlos and James were the best thing to ever happen to me. 

"My son could not have picked a better boyfriend." Mrs. Garcia smiled at me. My mouth fell open. How did she know? Carlos and I had only been official for a week and he said he was not ready to tell his mom. 

"Carlos I thought you did not want her to know?" I questioned my boyfriend. 

"I-I didn't." Carlos stuttered. I could tell he was being honest. 

"He did not have to tell me. A mother knows these things." Mrs. Garcia smiled. 

"Sylvia is right you two look at each other the same way James and Logan look at each other." 

Mrs. Diamond said. 

"W-what do you mean?" I heard James stutter out. I looked at him and Logan and they both looked pale. 

"Boys we have known about you two for a long time." Mrs. Mitchell giggled at Logan and James reactions. 

"And you're ok with it?" Logan whispered I knew he had feared he would share the fate I once had. 

"Of course sweetie. You too are so cute together." Mrs. Mitchell smiled. 

"We even have a couple name for you we call you Jagan." Mrs. Diamond laughed as James and Logan groaned. 

"And you mom? You're ok with me being with Kendall?" Carlos asked taking my hand. I was so afraid his mom would not approve of us. 

"Sweetie love knows no gender. I can tell you two make each other happy and this is all that matters to me." Mrs. Garcia said. 

"Logan, James that is how Joanna and I feel as well." Mrs. Diamond replied. I watched as my friends once again hugged their moms. I could feel the tears again if only my coming out had been this way. I made my way out of the room unnoticed and headed to my bed room. I was at least happy in the fact Carlos mom approved of me.

**~Carlos~**

As me and the guys pulled out of hugging our moms we noticed Kendall was gone. 

"Where did Kendall go?" Mamma M asked. 

"He is probably in his room." Logan sighed. 

"Whenever he is sad or feels like a burden he goes there." James said sadly. 

"He does that a lot?" Mrs. Diamond asked.

"Yeah." The three of us answered. I hated how much pain Kendall felt. 

"Do you know what could have upset him?" Mom asked. 

"It was you guys acknowledging that you knew about us." Logan said gesturing to himself, James and me. 

"Why would that upset him?" Mamma D questioned. 

"It probably reminded him of what happened when he came out. His was not so smooth." James sighed. 

"What happened?" Mamma M replied. 

The guys and I began to tell our moms everything Kendall had told us. He had told us his third night living here. I was beyond mad at the things his family said to him. We all were. 

"That is horrible!" my mom yelled. 

"How could parents be so cold to their own child?" Mamma Diamond snarled. 

"They aren't parents they are monsters." Mamma Mitchell spat. 

"You're all right." James stated his own anger showing. 

"They really better hope we never run into them." Logan growled. 

"Because of those beasts Kendall has no confidence in himself. He thinks he is worthless and a failure and it is because of those people. Kendall is none of those things. He is sweet, funny and wonderful. He has a heart of gold and is an amazing singer. Kendall is the most wonderful human being on earth and those monsters just threw him away like he was trash." I was fuming.

I hated how they had hurt my Kendall. I noticed everyone in the room staring at me over my rant and I blushed. 

"You really love him don't you Carlos?" my mom asked, pulling me close to her. I didn't even hesitate to give her my answer. "Yes, mom, I love Kendall. And if it takes me the rest of my life I will make him see how special he is. He is the missing half of my heart." I told my mother my voice full of confidence.

**Authors Note**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted the story.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed CH 13 and GleeShadow for being my beta for this**


	15. First Time

"Do to fanfic cracking down on the rules. This chapter has been moved to the location theprinceandthepauperfic . wordpress 2012/08/03/ch-15-smut/." Kendall said from his seat.

"We would like to thank you for reading." Logan replied from the door way.

"We really hope you will continue to enjoy the story." James answers.

"Hope to see you guys all real soon." Carlos smiles.

All the guys get up from their seats and head off to class.

**Author Note: This is just to let you guys know I will be moving CH 15 to my blog so I do not get in trouble with fanfic. I posted it this way so report harpies have nothing to report.**


	16. The Letter

I was walking around town. The guys and I had just left the movies I had been so excited to go since it had been so long since I had been to one. James dragged Logan off to shop, Logan groaning the entire time. Carlos was off somewhere hunting for a corndog stand. So that left me to wander around with my mind getting lost in thought. 

I was so into my thoughts I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, which caused me to bump into someone.

"Ow." At the sound of their voice, I was snapped out of my thoughts. I went to apologize then I noticed who it was.

"K-Katie?" I stuttered, not believing my sister was here. She had grown since the last time I had seen her and I wanted to hug her but then I remembered she hated me. 

"Kendall just the disgusting loser I was looking for. I forgot how small this lame town was."  
>Katie said her voice filled with venom. Her words hurt so much more than anyone else's words. At one time Katie and I had a bond like no one else. We were each other's best friends. <p>

"I thought you never wanted to see me again." I stated. My voice sounded so broken but in some ways I am still that same abandoned broken boy. I honestly don't believe I will ever be truly whole again. 

"I don't and to be honest, I thought you would be dead by now or someone's sex toy."  
>Katie chuckled. I wanted to just break right there. The guys had made me feel loved again and Katie was now slowly crushing me all over again. <p>

"Why are you here? I thought you were in New York" I questioned trying to keep my voice calm. 

"I came to give you a letter mom wrote before she died. She had written it in case she didn't have the courage to talk to you. How pathetic is that? She was flying to Minnesota to find you when the plane crashed. She had forgotten the letter at home. Which is why I now have it. I honestly wanted to just throw it away. I really did not want to bring it to you. But then I thought that you may actually be happy, and after talking to dad we agreed we couldn't have that so he bought me a plane ticket to come deliver it to you. The letter may make you miserable once you read it so we just had to make sure it got to you." Katie laughed as she handed me the letter. I was speechless. Katie's cruel words, the fact my mom was coming to visit me and the letter all overwhelmed me. 

"Enjoy the letter. It is a real tear jerker." Katie smirked before she walked off. I just stared at it for a bit before curiosity finally won and I opened it.

_Not a day goes by that I have not thought about you Kendall. I have had a lot of time to think and I have realized I was stupid. Who you love should not have mattered to me. I was blinded by my ignorance. You are still the same Kendall I spent all day baking cookies with for your bake sale when you were in second grade. That is one of my favorite memories of you. You are still the same Kendall who would sing me the mom song you wrote when you were nine every year for my birthday. That song will always be my favorite because it came from you. I can't imagine what your life has been like. My biggest regret will always be that I did not stand by you that day. I was a fool and I wish it had not taken me so long to realize it. I discussed how I felt with Katie and your father and they both made it clear that if I came back for you they were done with me. But that does not matter. I am your mother and I love you for you. Being gay is just a part of who you are. I know it may take time and you may never fully forgive me for turning my back on you and I do not blame you for feeling that way. I just hope one day you and I can be a family again. I never stopped loving you Kendall. I never could. You're my baby boy and you always will be. In time I hope to make it up to you for my stupidity. You will always be my pride and joy and the best son a mother could ever ask for.  
>Love. Mom<br>_

By the time I got to the end of the letter my wall had broken and I was crying. My mom had wanted me. She was coming back so she and I could be a family again. But she was taken from me before she could. I ran toward the cemetery still clinging to the letter. I stopped at my mom's gravestone and collapsed beside it. I began to break down as the rest of my walls came tumbling down.

"Kendall we found you!" I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up to see Carlos standing over me with James and Logan beside him. 

"We have been looking for you for over an hour." James said sounding worried. I had been here for an hour? It had only felt like minutes to me but I guess when your heart is shattered you lose all track of time.

"Why didn't you meet us at the park?" Logan questioned. I was still too upset to talk so I handed Carlos the letter for them to read. 

"Kendall, I am so sorry." James sighed. As they finished the letter, I could see the sadness and sympathy they held for me on all their faces. 

"We are here for you buddy." Logan said softly as the three of them pulled me into a hug.

"T-Thanks guys." I sobbed out as we broke from the hug. 

"We are going to leave you two alone." James said as he took Logan's hand and walked on. The two had come out as a couple after they had learned their parents accepted them I was really happy for them I know how much showing their love to the world meant to them. Only a few people gave them problems about it. 

"Why did she have to be taken from me? We could have been a family again. I lost her twice."  
>I sobbed into Carlos shoulders. Carlos made me feel safe whenever I was in his arms. <p>

"Kendall, I wish I could do something. I hate seeing you in so much pain." Carlos said sadly. 

"Y-You just being here is enough." I told him because truthfully it was. 

"A-Am I a horrible person?" I choked out. I must have done something wrong to be punished like this. 

"Kendall you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You are not horrible." Carlos said, making me look him in the eyes. 

"Then why do all these bad things happen to me?" I whimpered. "What have I done to deserve any of this?" I said, my voice cracking. 

"Kendall sometimes bad things happen to good people. But you will always have James, Logan and me by your side to catch you when you fall." Carlos told me confidently.

"P-Promise?" I hated sounding so vulnerable but that is exactly what I was right now. 

"I promise, Kendall you are stuck with us." Carlos smiled at me. I smiled at that. Carlos is one amazing person no matter what he knows how to make me feel better.

"Thank you Carlos." I whispered as Carlos and I stood. 

"Mom this is my boyfriend Carlos." I said holding onto Carlos hand for dear life. To someone passing by I may have looked like a lunatic crying while introducing my boyfriend to a gravestone. But I did not care. I wanted my mom to know I had found love. 

"He is a really great guy. I owe him a lot." I said wiping a few tears away with my free hand. 

"Kendall you don't owe me anything." Carlos said kissing my cheek.

"I feel like I do. You and the rest of the guys have given me one of the most important things in the world." I said stroking Carlos' cheek.

"What?" Carlos questioned, sounding confused.

"You gave me a family." I answered. Carlos nodded at my response.

"I love you mom and thank you for coming around. I wish we could have been together again."  
>I said, kissing her tombstone. I made a silent promise that I would visit my mother everyday as I began leaving the cemetery with Carlos.<p>

When we got home I was immediately attacked by my brothers in a hug. 

"Kendall are you ok?" Logan asked me, his voice full of worry.  
>"A little." I said sadly. <p>

"We are so sorry." James said a few tears making their way down his face.

"Thanks. It just hurts knowing we could have been together again. I had always been close to my mom and losing her the first time hurt me more than anything. Then when I learned she died and I thought she died hating me that hurt me even more because the last time I saw her she said she hated me. Then, reading her letter and learning she still loved me and wanted to make things right only to have the chance taken from us both has got to be the worst pain I have ever felt. I will never know what could have been." I said, a few of my unshed tears from earlier coming out. Which led to my family pulling me into a group hug. 

I was sitting alone in my room with my mother's letter beside me. Knowing she had loved me and did not die hating me brought me a small ounce of comfort. But I still had a heart full of pain. I was pulled from my thoughts by a knock on my door. 

"Come in." I said, trying to hide the fact that I had cried again. The guys had seen me do enough of that today. 

"Hey Kendall." Carlos said as he entered my room and closed the door.

"Hi." I replied trying to hide my pain. 

"We missed you at dinner." Carlos said sadly as he sat next to me on my bed. 

"I wasn't hungry." I told him. But the truth was I just wanted to be alone. 

"I figured. Kendall, can I tell you something?" Carlos asked, sounding nervous. I began to panic. He is probably tired of what a cry baby I am and wants to break up with me. My heart can't take any more pain.

"S-Sure." I said trying to hide my fear. 

"You promise what I say won't change how you feel about me?" Carlos asked, rubbing his hands together nervously. 

"I promise." I said, fearing what was to come. 

"We have been a couple a few months now right?" Carlos said, looking at me. 

"Yeah." I said not knowing where he was going with this. 

"And they have been some of the best months of my life." Carlos said smiling. "What I am getting at is…Kendall, I love you." Carlos said looking into my eyes. My mouth fell open. Did Carlos really just say he loved me? I had wanted to tell him that for a while but I was too afraid I would scare him off.  
>"Kendall, are you mad?" Carlos asked, sounding sad. I then realized my silence could be taken the wrong way. <p>

"No I was just surprised." I told him, smiling. 

"I have something I have been wanting to tell you to."

"What?" Carlos asked.

"I love you Carlos." I said pulling Carlos in for a kiss.

**Authors Note:**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Thanks to **GleeShadow, Kendalls LogieBear, dbz7000, mavk4444, BreakFree, BigTimeGaga, Macs-a-million, KogansWolfGirl, Anim3Fan4Ever, xXpedobearXx, Hikari no Kasai, GLJ4, KakashiWave, Milkamoo97, HoodieTobi, EverlastingRusher

**Also I will be Meeting Big Time Rush July 11th so if you guys have any fan letters you would like me to give them let me know and I will.**


	17. The Knights Sacrifice

~Carlos~  
>I was sitting in my room waiting for Kendall to get home when I heard screaming coming from Logan and James room. It wasn't the usual sex-filled screaming I often heard coming from their room - this was different. So I got up and made my way to their room. I knocked on the door, but no one heard me over the yelling so I just went in.<p>

"How could you!" I heard Logan yell at James. That shocked me. Those two had never yelled at each other.

"It was an accident!" James yelled back.

"How did you accidently smash my grandpas' watch?" Logan yelled, but I could hear the sob that escaped his mouth.

"I was taking it to get it repaired so it would tell time for you since I know how special it is to you. And I tripped and dropped it on the concrete." James was crying now. I know he had, had good intentions and wanted to do something special for Logan, but it backfired on him.

"Well, now I don't even have the watch anymore!" Logan yelled, his temper getting the best of him. Neither of them had even noticed I was in the room.

"I know. I am really sorry, Logie," James said, sounding defeated.

"Sorry doesn't bring my watch back!" Logan screamed.

"I swear James - sometimes you are just so stupid!" Logan spat. I could see the hurt spread all over James's face. James may not have been the smartest guy around, but that was a really low blow. Logan knows James has self-esteem issues about his intelligence.

"I-I really am sorry, Logie," James sobbed. I watched as he grabbed his iPod from the dresser next to him. He made his way past me, and the hurt on his face crushed me. I had never seen James look that defeated.

I just stood there and watched Logan stare at the space James had been before he fell to the floor crying. I guess he realized how much he had hurt James. Once Logan got enough control of his anger, he usually felt bad for the things he had done. I made my way to him.

"Logie, it will be ok," I said, guiding my friend out of his room and downstairs to the living room.

"H-How? Did you hear what I said to him? I was such a dick," Logan sobbed.

"You were just upset. That watch meant a lot to you," I said trying to cheer him up.

"That is no excuse. James means a lot to me too, and now he is going to hate me," Logan cried.

"Logie, James could never hate you. You mean the world to him," I said. It was true though. James once told me Logan was his entire world.

"He tried to do something nice for me and I just blow up on him and call him stupid. I know how low his self-esteem is on that issue. And I hurt him. I am a horrible person," Logan said moving closer to me.

"You were just upset. James will understand once you apologize," I said as I smiled at Logan.

"Y-You think so?" Logan asked, sounding so helpless.

"I know so buddy," I said confidently.

~Kendall~

I had just returned home from visiting my mom. I have visited my mom's grave every day since I received the letter. I usually stayed for a while, but it had started to rain so I headed home early. I could hear crying and what sounded like someone trying to comfort someone. I made my way into the living room and found Logan crying while Carlos was trying to comfort him.

"What happened, and where's James?" I asked, noticing my brother was not here. At the sound of James's name, Logan sobbed harder.

"James and Logan got into a fight. He grabbed his iPod and left an hour ago. We haven't heard from him," Carlos said looking up at me. I could not believe it - I had never seen James and Logan fight they were perfect.

"What was the fight about?" I questioned.

"James accidentally broke a watch Logan's grandpa gave him. Logan got mad and yelled at James which caused James to leave," Carlos said.

"James hates me," Logan sobbed.

"Logan, James loves you," I said, making my way to my brother.

"H-How could he? I yelled at him over something that was an a-accident. He won't even answer o-our calls," Logan choked out. I felt really bad for him. I know how much he and James mean to each other.

"I will go find him," I said rising from the couch.

"Kendall, are you sure? It's raining out and Sebastian is not here to drive you," Carlos stated.

"I'm sure. You just stay and comfort Logan," I told my boyfriend before giving him a quick kiss.

"I will be back, guys," I said, waving goodbye.

"Thanks Kendall," I heard Logan whimper as I grabbed an umbrella and closed the door.

The rain was really coming down. I had been looking for James for forty minutes now and still had not found him. I was about to head home thinking maybe he had gone home when I saw him crossing the street. He had his head down and his headphones in, completely oblivious to the world around him. That was when I noticed the car heading right for him.

"James!" I screamed.

But between the rain, thunder, and his music, he couldn't hear me. If I ran, I could get to him in time. I dropped my umbrella and began racing towards James, praying I would get to him in time. I made it to James and I managed to push him out of the way. 

~James~  
>I felt someone push me to the ground and I groaned as my butt made contact with the cement. When I looked up I came face to face with the shock of my life. I saw Kendall lying on the ground, surrounded by blood. There was a car stopped in front of him and the driver was on the phone to 911. That's when it clicked. If Kendall had not pushed me out of the way, that would have been me.<p>

"Kendall!" I yelled as I ran to the lifeless body of my brother.

**Authors Note:**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**So I have had this chapter planned for a long time now. How many of you saw this coming? Do you think Kendall will be ok?**

**Thanks to **Kendalls LogieBear, BreakFree, HoodieTobi, EverlastingRusher , KogansWolfGirl, PotatoCake, Anim3Fan4Ever, Milkamoo97, OuToFmYmInDbAcKiN5MiNuTeS, mavk4444, TheCarlosPena Journals, Hikari no Kasai, BigTimeGaga, FlowersSetAlight


	18. I Don't Like Hospitals

I have never been a big fan of hospitals, but here I was with my best friends and our mothers. I was nervous. Bad things happen in hospitals. When James called me and told me what had happened, I fell to the floor. My sweet innocent Kendall getting hit by a car was not something I had expected.

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't hurt James' feelings, none of this would have happened," Logan sobbed from his chair.

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have let him go out alone," I said from my seat – my own tears coming down like rain.

"If I hadn't left, or if I had been paying attention, none of this would have happened," James whimpered.

"Listen boys – none of you are to blame," Momma Mitchell said.

"I just want him to be alright," I mumbled as my mother rubbed my back trying to comfort me.

"Kendall is a strong boy Carlos. He will pull through this," my mother said. I wanted to believe her, but it was hard.

"Are you sure you won't get in trouble for ditching your conference in Colorado?" Logan asked his mom. I could tell he was trying to change the subject even if it was only for a little while.

"Sweetie, it's fine. Kendall is family and family comes before a silly conference," Momma Mitchell stated, running her fingers through Logan's hair.

"Besides, if anyone tries to give us any crap about it, I will buy their company and fire them." Momma Diamond stated.

"Knight." We looked up as the doctor said Kendall's name. I rushed over. I had to know if he would be ok.

"Is he ok?" I asked. I was afraid of the answer, but at the same time I desperately needed to know.

"I am Doctor Hawk. Before we discuss that, you do know he has no medical insurance or anything, right? How is he going to pay for his treatment and bills?"

Was this asshole seriously worried about money at a time like this? I was about to say something but Momma Diamond beat me.

"Listen here, you little worm! That boy saved my son's life, so I am paying for whatever he needs and money is no object. Now, answer the question before I toss you across this lobby! Understood?" Momma Diamond snarled as she lifted the small doctor up before dropping him on his butt.

"H-he broke his right arm, his left leg, his left wrist, and his right hip is broken. He cracked two ribs and his forehead. Honestly, he is lucky to be alive," the doctor stuttered, his fear of Momma Diamond clear.

"C-Can I see him?" I whimpered. My Kendall was alive, but he was broken. I was scared to see him.

"Yes. We finally got him stable and he is awake, but try not to stay too long. He is in room 122," Dr. Hawk said. I nodded before racing off to find Kendall with the rest of my family behind me.

**~Kendall~**

"Kendall, you're ok!" my boyfriend shouted as he burst through my room and engulfed me in a crushing hug.

"Carlos, you're hurting me," I whimpered. I really didn't want him to see me like this. I looked awful. I had casts and bandages over so much of my body that I felt like a mummy.

"Sorry…I was just so worried," Carlos said. He sounded like he had been crying for hours. I hated seeing him sad.

"I am ok," I said giving him the biggest smile I could muster. Yeah, I was pretty beaten up. But I was alive.

"How are you feeling?" Logan asked. And that was when I noticed James, Logan, Mrs. Mitchell, Mrs. Diamond, and Mrs. Garcia were in my room. I had been so wrapped up in Carlos I didn't realize they had come in.

"Like crap." I decided to be honest. I had never been a fan of lying. Besides, I am sure the doctor told them what was wrong.

"I am so sorry, Kendall," James said, his voice cracking. His eyes were red and puffy and I could tell he must have been crying for a while now.

"What for?" I had no clue why James was sorry.

"If I had paid attention, you wouldn't be here right now." James answered while he rubbed his sleeve over his eyes.

"James, it is not your fault." I said.

"Yes it is. You should have just left me," James mumbled. But I heard him.

"James, listen to me. There is no way I would have let that car hit you," I said. And I was being completely honest. I would never stand by and watch something happen to any of them.

"We are just glad you are ok. I would have been so lost if something had happened to you," Carlos said kissing my cheek.

"I will be ok. I just don't know how I will pay for all of this." I was terrified that the hospital would take me to court or something.

"Kendall, don't worry about that. I am taking care of it," Mrs. Diamond said.

"I-I can't ask you to do that." I did not want to be a burden, or cost her money.

"Well I am. You saved my son's life, Kendall. This is the least I could do for you in return."

"Thank you. I will pay you back as soon as I can," I said giving her a smile.

"All I want you to focus on is getting better," Mrs. Diamond said.

"How long are you in here? We didn't exactly give the doctor a chance to say," Logan asked.

"A few weeks." I groaned. I really did not want to be stuck here that long.

"Why so long?" Carlos asked with a pout. I smiled at how cute he was.

"They want to make sure I heal ok and that there is no severe internal bleeding," I said with my own pout. I wanted to be at home in my own bed and not here.

"Boys, visiting hours are almost over," Mrs. Mitchell sighed.

"We don't wanna leave Kendall," Logan said crossing his arms. It was sweet that they wanted to stay, but I couldn't ask them to do that.

"Guys, it's ok. I will be fine," I said.

"You sure?" James asked. He still sounded like he felt guilty and I hated that he was feeling this way. This was just an accident – no one was to blame.

"Yeah. I want you guys to get some rest and it is hard to do that in a hospital," I answered.

"You aren't going to budge on this, are you?" Carlos sighed.

"Nope," I said smirking.

"Fine, but we will be back first thing in the morning," Carlos said. He then gave me a kiss goodbye. Everyone else gave me their goodbyes and made their way out of my room.

Everyone except Mrs. Diamond.

"Thank you so much, Kendall," Mrs. Diamond said as she wrapped me in a gentle hug. She was crying, which caught me off guard. I had never heard of her doing that.

"You don't have to thank me. I love James and I wasn't going to let him die," I said.

"Kendall, you are an amazing young man," Mrs. Diamond said as she ended the hug.

"Thank you," I said, blushing at her words. She smiled at me before exiting my room.

**Authors Note:**

**I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**So I had two others ways I had planned to take this. One was Kendall dying the other was him losing his short term memory. I decided both of those were too harsh so I did this instead. I honestly am not happy with this chapter felt like I did a bad job but oh well. Also sad to say but there are only 2-3 chapters left of this.**

**Thanks to **BreakFree, OuToFmYmInDbAcKiN5MiNuTeS, HoodieTobi, BigTimeGaga, FlowersSetAlight, sesselover1988, Fallenangelqueen, Anim3Fan4Ever, Kendalls LogieBear, mavk4444, xXpedobearXx, LyssaxGirl, EverlastingRusher, KEALY KAMES, KogansWolfGirl, Hikari no Kasai, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, BigTimeOzzy


	19. Second Chance

"I am so glad you are pretty much healed," Carlos said as we exited our history class. It had been about four months since my accident and my body was pretty much healed, with the exception of a few scars.

"Same here. Having you guys baby me sucked," I said giving him a smile.

"We didn't want you hurting yourself," Carlos replied.

"I know. I'll meet you and the guys in the lunchroom. I have to get my math book for next period."

"You don't want me to come with you?" Carlos asked, giving me a pout. It took all my will power not to jump him in the halls.

"I'm sure today they have red velvet cupcakes in the lunchroom and I want you to snag us one before James eats them all. You know how he is about red velvet cupcakes," I said laughing at our friend's obsession with the school's cupcakes.

"Fine, I'll see you there," Carlos sighed before heading towards the lunchroom.

"Can we talk?" I heard a voice ask from behind me as I closed my locker. I turned around to see Jett standing behind me.

"Jett, if you are here to insult me, I'm not really in the mood for it," I sighed. Jett hadn't spoken to me in months so I had figured he was done bullying me.

"That's not why I'm here," Jett said. He sounded nervous but I had no idea what he had to be nervous about.

"Then why are you here?" I asked.

"I-I wanted to apologize to you," Jett answered. My mouth dropped. Jett Stetson - King Asshole - wanted to apologize? It had to be a trap.

"Do you really think I am going to fall for whatever kind of trap this is?" I asked, giving Jett a glare.

"Look, it's not a trap. I never really hated you," Jett sighed.

"Then why did you treat me like crap?"

"I was taking my frustrations from my dad out on you. See, my dad never wanted me, and when mom died, he lost it. I can't even tell you how many times he has given me a black eye or a busted lip," Jett said wringing his hands together.

"I-I thought you got those from fights," I stated. I was trying to wrap my head around this new information. I had always viewed Jett as a jerk, but it turns out, he was a victim too.

"That's just wanted I wanted people to think," Jett answered looking down at the ground.

"I took my pain and anger out on you Kendall, and I am truly sorry for my actions. I know you may never forgive me, but I just wanted you to know that," Jett said as he turned to leave.

"Jett, wait," I called out. Jett stopped and turned back around to face me.

"I believe you," I said giving him a smile.

"Thanks Kendall."

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked.

"About what?"

"Your dad and Dak. Are you still going to hang out with him?" I replied.

"I never really liked Dak, so I guess I am on my own now. As for my dad, there is nothing I can do. I have nowhere else to go," Jett answered looking down at the ground. I felt bad for him. I didn't have anywhere to go either until Carlos and the guys stepped in and gave me a new home.

"Yeah you do," I stated.

"Where?" Jett asked giving me a confused look.

"You can move in with me and the guys," I answered. I was helped in my time of need and now it was my turn to help someone else. Jett couldn't stay with his abusive father. He could end up being killed.

"Y-you would do that for me?" Jett asked. I could tell he was trying to hide his emotions.

"Yes," I answered.

"Thanks Kendall, but I can't do that," Jett said.

"Why not?" I could see no reason he couldn't stay with us. We had more than enough room.

"For starters, my douche of a father would never allow it. Sure he hates me, but he wouldn't let me go off to be happy," Jett sighed.

"I am sure that if the guys offered him enough cash, it wouldn't matter to him," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"That's the other thing. Logan, Carlos, and James hate me. Just because you have forgiven me doesn't me they will. They won't want to help me," Jett said biting his lip.

"The guys have good hearts. Once we tell them the whole story, they will be more than happy to help," I said, my voice full of confidence.

"After everything I did to you, why would you want to help me?" Jett questioned.

"I know what it's like to have no one there to help you," I answered.

"I'll talk to the guys and get back to you later," I said. I expected him to nod or thank me. What I was not expecting was for him to hug me.

"This means a lot to me," Jett said as he broke the hug. I just smiled.

"You did what?!" James said as soon as I finished telling the guys everything Jett had told me and what I had told him.

"Kendall, why would you do that?" Logan asked. I could tell they were upset, but Jett needed us.

"Jett is a jerk," Carlos growled.

"Everyone deserves a second chance. I gave you guys one, and look how that turned out.

"Yeah, but we are awesome and Jett isn't," James said with a pout. I could tell he was bitter about this.

"Kendall, you are one of a kind, you know that?" Logan asked.

"I'm just doing the right thing," I pointed out.

"Yeah, and not many people do that. Logie is right. You are one of a kind," Carlos said giving me a smile as I blushed.

"So we can help him?" I asked.

"It's fine with me," Carlos said.

"I'm in" was Logan's answer.

"Jett can jump into the ocean," James mumbled.

"Ow!" James exclaimed after Logan elbowed him in the ribs. I had to hold back my laugh.

"Fine, we will help the arrogant blowhard," James sighed.

"You guys are the best." I said.

**Author's Note: I do not own BTR.**

**I apologize for the wait. I had writer's block. Then I tried finding a solid answer on how long injuries like Kendall had would take to heal and I came up blank, so let's just use the 4 months. I know this chapter is short and boring but it is a filler. There are two chapters left and then this is over. Also, if any of you wanna see the pic from when I met BTR it will be on my profile later. I was in between Kenlos!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and put this story on alert or in their favorites.**


	20. Connecting

"Kendall, are you sure about this?" James asked.

"Yes, James, I am sure." I answered for the fifth time. Jett would be moving in with us today. Carlos and the guys got permission from their moms; we didn't tell them the whole truth about why Jett needed to live with us, instead Carlos told them Jett's dad was moving to Germany and Jett wanted to stay in Minnesota.

"Besides we already paid Mr. Stetson four hundred-thousand to let Jett move in here." Logan added. The day after I talked the guys into letting Jett move in we went and paid Mr. Stetson a visit. Like I figured he wasn't willing to let Jett go. He would rather abuse him then let him have a happy life. I was about to ask the guys if we could pay him off when Logan offered him the money which he said yes to in an instant.

"James would you chill? We all agreed to give Jett another chance just like Kendall gave us one." Carlos said rubbing his temples.

"You're right." James said. I was about to let him know it wouldn't be as bad as he thought when the doorbell rang. I had already volunteered to be the one to let Jett in, so I got up and made my way to the door.

"Is that all you brought?" I asked noticing Jett only had his book bag and a duffel bag.

"This is all dad let me keep, he took the rest." Jett said, looking down at the ground.

"Why would he do that?"

"Said he wanted to make me miserable one last time before he moves away: he also wanted me to tell you guy's thanks for buying his worthless son." Jett answered his gaze still focused on the ground.

"That's horrible."

"I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be."

"Kendall what's taking so long?" I heard Carlos ask from the living room. Jett and I had been so involved in our conversation I had forgotten to invite him in.

"Coming," I answered gesturing for Jett to come inside.

* * *

><p>"Dinner is ready." I said as I entered Jett's room.<p>

"I'm not really hungry." Jett said looking at the frame in his hands.

"You ok?" I asked walking over and taking a seat on the bed.

"Just thinking about the past." Jett said as he rubbed his thumb over the picture in his hand.

"You want to talk about it?"

"You wouldn't want to hear about that."

"I do if it will help you. That's what friends are for." I said smiling.

"Dak never wanted to hear about it."

"I'm not Dak."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are an amazing person?" Jett said offering a smile.

"I have heard it once or twice." I answered.

"My dad wasn't always abusive. There was a time when he loved me," Jett said his smile dropping.

"What changed, then?"

"The accident," Jett sighed. He handed me the picture he had been holding. In the picture was a woman with green eyes and short brown hair, a man who looked a lot like Jett does now, a little boy- who I assumed to be Jett- and a little girl who looked to be three or four with curly black hair and brown eyes.

"This is a picture of me my dad, Mom, and baby sister, Emma." Jett said as a few tears made their way down his face.

"What happened to them?" I asked remembering Jett said there had been an accident.

"My mom and Emma were on their way to pick me up from my peewee hockey practice. It had been storming on and off all day; mom lost control of the car and crashed into a tree. Mom died on impact and Emma died on the way to the hospital." Jett said his voice cracking.

"Jett I'm sorry." I said.

"Thanks. After that, Dad changed. He blamed me. He said if I hadn't been at practice then Mom and Emma would not have died. The day after their funeral, the beatings started. And a week later, he started drinking." Jett said as more tears started to come down his face.

"Jett it wasn't you're fault." I said sitting the picture down and pulling Jett into a hug.

"Y-yes it was. Dad was r-right if I hadn't wanted to play stupid h-hockey they would still be h-here."

"You were just a little kid: you had no control over what happened. Your mom and sister would not want you to blame yourself." I said as the hug ended.

"Y-you think so?" Jett asked looking me in the eyes for the first time since his break down. I hadn't been around the real Jett long, but seeing the hurt in his eyes broke my heart. He lost his sister his mom and, in a way, he lost his dad too.

I didn't hesitate to give my answer. "I know so."

"Thanks Kendall."

"You're welcome, Jett, and if you ever need someone to talk to you know where to find me." I said before getting up and leaving him so he could have some privacy.

* * *

><p>I was in my room thinking about the conversation I had had with Jett and I realized it helped me to see why he had done all the things he had. He was never really given time to grieve over his loss before his dad started hurting him and for years he had blamed himself so he took all his pain out on other people. I could connect with Jett on losing his family: I had lost my family over something I had no control over and Jett had experienced the same loss, just different circumstances. And, like Jett, I had blamed myself for the loss of my family. It was because of James, Carlos and Logan that I realized I wasn't to blame.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>~Jett POV~<strong>

I owe a lot to Kendall Knight, not only has he given me a new home but he saved my life. I had planned the day I apologized to him on being my last on this earth. I just couldn't take my father's abuse anymore. I'd decided that before I died I wanted to apologize to the person whose life I had been ruining. I never expected Kendall to forgive me or to offer me a home, but he had done both. I have never met someone as kind as Kendall. Even though life kept trying to knock him down, he never stopped caring for other people.

It had been about two hours since the conversation I'd had with Kendall and I still couldn't really believe what had happened. It had been years since anyone showed me they cared. I'd been a jerk to Kendall ever since he started going to our school and yet not only was he willing to forgive me, but he actually sat there and listened to my story. This was another thing for me to add to my list. I had been trying to think of something I could do to repay Kendall for all he has done for me and now I think I know what to do: tomorrow I have a phone call to make.

**Author Note: I do not own BTR**

**Also some of you have been asking for a Jagan CH for a long time. So is that something you guys would want before I end this fic?**

**Thanks to everyone who set up an alert or favorite for this. Thank you to all the reviews of the last CH.**


	21. Our Spot

"Meet me at our spot." I read to myself as I was making my way down the sidewalk. I had woken up this morning to find this note from James taped to my door. I was getting close to our spot which was an old oak tree that was at the edge of the park. I kept trying, and failing, to think of why James would want me there.

I eventually found myself at our tree but I didn't see James. _He must be on the other side _I thought to myself before walking around.

"Hey, Logie." James said giving me a smile.

"What is all of this?" I asked, looking at the picnic James had set up.

"A picnic for us." James said as he gestured for me to sit.

"James, this is so sweet." I said, taking a seat across from him. "What's the occasion?"

"It's my way of saying sorry for what I did to your grandpa's watch." James answered as he looked down at his hands.

"James, I told you I am not mad about that anymore and I forgave you."

"Yeah, but I still ruined it and then I almost got Kendall killed because I am an idiot."

"It was just a watch." I sighed. "None of us blame you for Kendall's accident. And Kendall has told you he doesn't regret saving your life."

"That may be true but he still could have died." James whimpered. I could tell he was trying not to cry. I hated seeing him so upset and it was clear he still felt guilty for what had happened.

"James, look at me." I said as I raised his face to look at mine.

"Accidents happen the important thing is that you are both ok. None of us want to see you blaming yourself. Now, let's enjoy our picnic. " I said giving him a smile.

"How do you always do that?"

"Do what?" I asked.

"Know just what to say to make me feel better."

"It's a gift."

LINE

"Do you remember our first date?" James asked. We had finished our picnic a few minutes ago and I was now sitting in his lap looking at the stars.

"I do." I said with a smile. Our first date had been a picnic in this same spot. "You were so nervous and ended up spilling your drink all over me."

"I was afraid if I said the wrong thing I would ruin our date, you know I am not the best when it comes to the right thing to say," James said blushing.

"That is still my favorite date we have had."

"Why?" James asked.

I smiled "Because, although things didn't go as planned, I still had an amazing time and it was because I was with you."

"It was my favorite too. I had thought you would be mad and realize I wasn't boyfriend material but instead you just dumped your drink on me and the food fight that followed was the best."

"Logie?"

"Yeah, James?"

"Can I ask you something and you give me an honest answer?"

"Of course."

"Do you see us having a future together."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean do you see us getting married someday."

"Of course I do. James, you are one of the most important people in my life. When I think of my future and all I want to achieve, I see you right there with me. I don't see my life without you," I answered. "Do you see us getting married?"

"I do. I know we are only sixteen but you mean the world to me. You make me feel like anything is possible as long as I have you. And someday when we are both ready, I do want us to get married. Carlos can be your best man and Kendall can be mine."

"You have put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"

"I have, of course, I didn't know we would be adding Jett to our family."

"You still don't like him, do you?" I asked.

"He is growing on me. He can be the ring boy," James said smiling.

"I'm sure he would like that."

LINE

After we cleaned up from our picnic, we decided to move over to the swings.

"Do you think Carlos and Kendall will last?" James asked. James tended to worry and I knew he was afraid that Carlos and Kendall might not make it.

"I honestly do. They look at each other the same way we do. And even though they haven't been together long I know they will be alright."

"That's good I love them and it would suck to see them sad."

"Who knows, maybe we could even have a double wedding." James said.

"You know Carlos would eat all the cake." I said trying to hold back the image of Carlos diving into the wedding cake.

"And I know you know me well enough to know I would be right by him doing the same thing." James said with a smirk.

"Why do Kendall and I put up with you two?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Because we are freaking awesome and you love us."

"You're so cocky."

"As I seem to recall, you love my cock." James said winking at me.

"The guys are right, you are a horn dog."

"Only when it comes to you, babe." James said before leaning over to kiss my cheek.

LINE

We were walking home and James was holding my hand. Lately he had begun to be ok with more PDA.

"Did you have fun tonight?" James asked.

"I did, of course, I always have fun when I am with you." I answered. James always made me feel special and it was just fun to be around. When we first started dating, I had feared we wouldn't last and that it would ruin our friendship which is why when he first asked me out I was hesitant but he eventually won and I am so glad he did.

But now I know nothing will ever tear us a part. He was my other half and I was his.

**Author Note: I do not own BTR.**

**Thanks to everyone who added this to their favorite or alert and to those who reviewed last chapter.**

**Sorry this took so long I had some stuff happen in life. I apologize for how short this is just wanted to give you a look at Jagan. Two chapters left and then this is done.**


	22. Dream

"What is so important I had to race home from the book store for?" I asked as I made my way into the living room.

"Jett you tell him since this is happening because of you." Carlos answered trying to hide the smile on his face.

"Well a few weeks back I called Nick Scott an old family friend on my mom's side of the family. He is a producer in LA and I got him to agree to listen to you sing. So then I told Gustavo all about it and he recorded your last session and we sent it to Nick and he loved it so much he wants you to go to LA and record a demo." Jett finished his rambling.

"I'm not going." I mumbled before turning and racing up the stairs to my room.

"Kendall can I come in?" Carlos asked from the other side of my door. I knew it would only be a matter of time before one of them came to see what was up with me.

"Sure." I replied. I had learned long ago that it was pointless to argue with any of them.

Carlos sighed. "What was that about? Being a musician is your dream and now because of Jett you have the chance to make that dream a reality."

"Don't get me wrong I am grateful Jett did that for me it's just…." I trailed off.

"Just what Kendall?"

"What if I get to LA and Mr. Scott realizes I am not good enough."

"Kendall we have all heard you sing you have nothing to worry about. It's not just about the singing is it?" Carlos asked casting me a knowing look.

I sighed. "LA is a long way from Minnesota. I don't want to leave you guys behind. You're the only family I have."

"Kendall you can't give up your dream because of us. You deserve this chance besides we will always be family."

"But Carlos you know long distance relationships never work out."

"I know." Carlos whispered.

"Then why are you pushing me away?"

"Because when you care about somebody you do what is best for them. Even if it sucks for you." Carlos answered.

"I don't want to leave you guys."

"Kendall you don't have to decide right now. Take some time and think it over." Carlos stated.

"I changed my mind I don't want to go." I said in the middle of the airport. It had been a week since Jett had told me what he did and the guys had talked me into going.

"Kendall opportunities' like this come once in a lifetime." Carlos smiled.

"Maybe you only come once in a lifetime." I responded.

"Kendall I would not be able to live with myself knowing I was the reason you gave up your dream."

"If I go things will change."

Carlos sighed. "They might but we won't know if they change for good or bad unless you take the chance."

"I'm not good enough anyway." I was trying all I could to stay.

"Kendall this is your dream." Jett said.

"The four of us know you can do this." James said giving me a smile.

"We have faith in you buddy." Logan stated.

"You all really want me to go don't you?" I asked looking at each of them.

"We just want you to finally achieve your dream." James answered.

"Sebastian will meet you in LA." Logan said.

"You guys sure it's ok for him to come with me?"

"Yeah Kendall mom said you're sixteen and it isn't ok for you to live alone." Carlos replied.

"I still don't want to leave you guys. You're my family."

"We will still see you on holidays and vacations." Logan remarked.

"And as soon as we are eighteen we will be moving out there." James added.

"If we are even still friends." I whispered but they heard me.

"Kendall no one knows exactly what the future holds but I do know that regardless of what happens in LA we will still be friends." Jett said.

"You think so?"

"We know so." It was Carlos who answered.

"Will leave you alone to say goodbye." James said before he and the guys left.

"So this is goodbye?" I asked.

"Not goodbye it's an I'll see you later."

"You really think I can do this?"

"I know you can Kendall." Carlos said hugging me.

"I love you Carlos."

"I love you to Kendall."

"That's my flight." I said breaking the hug.

"Call me as soon as you get settled in."

"I will and Carlos thanks for everything."

"You're welcome and thank you for saving us from ourselves." Carlos said.

I nodded and then headed towards my plane. I didn't know what the future held for me or even if our relationship would survive the distance. But I did know that my heart would always hold a special place for Carlos, James, Logan and Jett.

**Author Note: I do not own BTR.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted and favorited last ch.**

**Sorry it took so long with this and I know this is short and crappy but yeah. I was in the process of switching colleges and then I got the flu.**

I started this story a little over a year ago not expecting much. To date I have over 300 reviews and thousands of views on this story. I even won best Kenlos slash. Never in my dreams could I imagine something like this. Thank you all so much for all of your support it means more than you will ever know. This is it for The Prince and the Pauper. If enough of you want it I will write a one-shot that takes place after Kendall leaves so you can see what life became for them. This story will always be special to me and I view it as my baby and I am sad to see it end but all good things come to an end right?

Also I originally planned for Kendall to have died from getting hit and then all the chapters after that being Carlos' dream of what live could have been. In this version James was going to have committed suicide due to his guilt a week after Kendall died and Logan was going to the day after James died. The final chapter would have shown what Carlos became due to losing those he loved which was a bitter, cold alcoholic. I decided not to go with this though which is why you got what you did.


	23. Epilogue

Seven years. That is how long it has been since Jett played a part in making my dream come true. And in that time, a lot has changed. My music career took off like a flash. To date, I have three platinum albums, five successful sold-out tours, three Grammys, and a movie. The first two years away from the guys were hard. My relationship with Carlos struggled a bit, but in the end we made it. James, Carlos, Logan and Jett all moved out here, once they graduated high school.

James and Logan got married shortly after they moved out here. The wedding was small, just family and friends. Jett got a job as an actor, and his career has really thrived. His father tried coming back into his life after his first movie. Thankfully, Jett shut him down.

James got a job as a model. His face has been on the cover of more magazines and billboards than I can keep track of. Logan works as James' agent. Carlos took a job as a stunt man. He loves the rush he gets from doing all the difference stunts.

Carlos and I got married two years ago. I had never denied my relationship with Carlos, and I was honest with my fans from the start. I lost a few, but the ones that mattered, stayed. My fans adore Carlos, and are always supporting him on sites like Twitter and Instagram.

The guys and I also wanted to make a difference for kids who share a similar home life like the one Jett and I had. That is why we created the As Long As You Believe campaign. ALAYB is a charity that helps provide food, shelter, support, and so much more for kids and young adults who have been abused or abandoned by their families.

My dad and sister tried to get back into my life two years after I moved out here. Dad had claimed he finally came to terms with me being gay, but I knew it was an act. The money is what he cared about. I didn't need him or Katie. I had found a new family long ago. One that loved me no matter what.

The road getting to where I am today was rough. It was filled with pain and loss, but in the end everything worked out for me. I finally found where I belong.


End file.
